The Bowerman Blague

Drill Baby Drill

2010-06-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

Ummmm...what did you think she meant?

Thanks for the Father's Day gift kids!

Fun in the Sun!

2010-06-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of a great week, vacationing in sunny Utah! After spending a day with Katie, Claire, and Joseph, we left Sarah in Provo for the week at BYU to study with a potential music professor (if Sarah gets accepted into the program next year), and then Lisa and I headed off for Moab. We met sister Rebecca and her husband Todd there and explored Arches national park. Later we went on a 25 mile boat ride down the Colorado River and saw more of the park you can't see any other way--very cool. The photo above/left was taken from the boat.

Then we headed further south to St. George. We're staying at "Seven Wives" bed and breakfast, which is directly across the street from Brigham Young's former home. Last night we drove around the area looking at homes for sale, just to get an idea of prices should we decide we need to live in a warm dry climate some day. Prices are great but...there's a lot of red dirt here! And the landscaping is red, and the houses are red, and...you have to really like red.

BTW, after auditioning, Sarah was third chair in the "Masters" section (out of a group of a dozen or so flautists) and they will put on a concert this weekend.

We're driving back to Provo today (hope it's not so windy...on the drive down we encountered winds that were clocked in some places as high as 74 mph!).

The picture below shows a guy climbing "Wall Street". Crazy!

Salty Newcomers

2010-05-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

Latest additions to the aquarium. Hoping the clown fish will introduce herself to the anemone! The coral banded shrimp immediately staked out a territory and began fiercely defending it... Need help in naming these two, any suggestions?

Dory Bowerman

2010-04-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

I added a blue tang to the aquarium yesterday. She (aren't all blue tangs female and named Dory?) seems to be doing well and holding her own at feeding time with the yellow tang, the clown fish, and the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. She's crazy about kelp, but also liked the shrimp and peas I tossed in.

The Iron Raccoon

2010-04-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

Sarah: Hey, something smells really bad in my closet.
Lisa: Let's go get a ladder and check it out.
Sarah: Dad, where's the ladder?
Rich: In the garage.
Sarah: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball--she doesn't want to have to go get it)
Lisa: Rich, come see if you smell anything.
Rich: What? (thinks to himself: what a lovely family activity)
Rich: Ooooh, that's bad. You have a dead animal in here.
Sarah: See, I told you. But that's not what's making that noise...?
Rich: Right. Dead animals don't make any noise. (Sarah starts to snicker)
Rich: You'll have to take everything out to find it.
Sarah: What?
Rich: You heard me.
Lisa: I don't smell anything. (Sarah is in a state of disbelief)
Rich: Then maybe you should be the one to take everything out.
At this point, Sarah is laughing. Rich starts to laugh also. The laughter gets out of control.
Rich: It's probably a dead raccoon.
Sarah: What?
Rich: That got in through the basement door that was left open all night.
Sarah: What? Is that why the alarm wouldn't set last night?
Rich: (more hysterical laughter) Maybe. (tears are flowing)
Sarah: How long has it been open?
Rich: (almost unable to communicate through the laughter and tears) I'm sure it hasn't been open more than two weeks.
Sarah: Why didn't you close it last night?
Rich: I knew I was safe now that you guys are back home from Utah.
Lisa: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball) You guys are bad.
Rich: Wow, what is that smell? Oh, is that your iron? (Sarah is about to fall off the bed from laughing so much) Just kidding, I don't smell a thing (runs away as Lisa is about to throw the hot iron at him)

Crazy Good

2010-02-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

It just doesn't get any easier than this: Take some fresh shredded parmesan cheese (you can buy it already shredded) and drop it into a heated non-stick skillet (or a regular skillet sprayed with non-stick stuff). Just make a lacy pattern with the cheese, just two or three shreds thick. Let it cook until it gets golden-brown and crispy. You can cook on one side or both.

That's it! You're done! Now just eat it. This is really good with soup or salad. Try it in place of bread. I first had this in a Nordstrom's restaurant with a ceaser salad. It can also be broken into pieces and used in place of croutons. Why didn't someone tell me about this earlier?

Masterful

2010-02-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I'm no music aficionado, but I do love good music. For Valentine's Day, Lisa and I went to the symphony. The St. Louis Symphony Orchestra was playing "romantic favorites" (collective aaahhhh, please).

Unbeknownst to us, there was a featured violinist on the program, one Viviane Hagner. Ms. Hagner, it turns out, is quite the virtuoso, in my humble opinion. With no music in front of her, she played non-stop for about 20 minutes. And the music she was playing, Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, op. 64, was quite complex. I think the rest of the orchestra was quite challenged to keep up, even with the music in front of them. How could she do this? The practice, the hours, the mental focus--all just incredible to think about. And then--the quality of the sound--it was just exquisite. As I was sitting there, I was thinking to myself what incredible timbre that violin had. I'm not a huge fan of the violin, actually, only because most violinists don't reach the level of mastery that makes it a beautiful-sounding instrument to me. That's just me, I know I'm in the minority here. Anyway, there's no doubt this was the finest sounding violin music I have heard.

As we looked closer at the playbill, we realized this master musician wasn't playing just any old violin. She was playing a real Strativarius! Yes, the real deal, made in 1717! It was on loan to her from the foundation that owns it. Lisa and I tried to guess what something like that would be worth. We really had no idea, but guessed maybe a million dollars. I looked it up on the internet today, and it said that Strativarius' "golden period" was between 1700 and 1720; the few documented violins he crafted during that period can be worth several million dollars. Just incredible! I feel very lucky to have had an opportunity to experience this combination: a master, playing a masterpiece, on a masterpiece!

Pop Quiz

2010-01-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

1) Photo number 1 is:
A) A look behind the scenes of the set for Superman's Ice Palace
B) Star Wars' Death Star inner workings
C) A high school physics experiment gone awry
D) _______________________________

2) This is an actual photo of
A) Mitosis (cell division)
B) The sun, weeping over global warming
C) Something we don't talk about in polite company
D) _____________________________

3) Click on the photo to see:
A) Leaking electrons from satellite cables
B) The reason the refrigerator icemaker doesn't work
C) Variation on Chinese water torture techniques
D) _________________________________

4) These vertical structures are:
A) Part of Rich's latest project at work
B) Nuclear fuel rods stolen from the set of "24"
C) Electron microscopy of the printed circuit board in a modern computer
D) ________________________________

Donations are being taken for repairs to all the above. Between the $200 surcharge plus double time for Sunday work, this was a really big ouchie.

Photos of Claire

2010-01-16T13:54:00.000-08:00

I'm going to jump right off this highchair and grab that jar of baby food and then I'm going to...

It's not clear who had more fun--Claire playing in her little house, or Grandma building it!

Like Mother (age ~16), Like Daughter

No, really, Grandpa. I do not know who made this mess.

Claire visits Grandpa at his work office

Simply Blue

2010-01-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

It was a cold, snowy night. The howling wind drove wind chill temperatures below zero. But the proud blue crane, undaunted, was still standing at daybreak, at the ready for any task it might be called upon to perform.

Pot Luck Almost Sent Me To Jail

2010-01-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

We had a pot luck lunch at work in mid-December. We don't do a lot of pot lucks, but this year we didn't have our normal Christmas party at a restaurant, so the pot luck was a good alternative. I chose to make a cheesecake. It was only my second attempt, but it turned out well and I got lots of compliments on it.

I had taken a knife from home to cut it with--a huge knife, about a foot long. After lunch, I just stuck the knife in my briefcase and forgot about it. That was December 17.

As I prepared to go on vacation, I packed my briefcase with the things I wanted to take with me to Florida--paperwork, a book, reservation information, all the usual stuff. I didn't see the knife in the bottom of one of the briefcase slots; it had sort of nestled itself into a fold of the fabric and was covered up by folders and papers.

When Lisa saw me packing, she persuaded me to lose the briefcase and just pack everything into a suitcase that had some extra space. I really wanted to take the briefcase because it had all sorts of things in it that I regularly need, such as my electronic password key, mints, coins, money, pens, pass-along cards, and so on. But I was taking my camera as a carry-on, plus a carry-on roller bag, so I really didn't have a choice to take a third carry-on. I moved the essentials to the suitcase and off we went to the airport.

Went to Florida, came home, transferred things back to the briefcase, and went to work today. As I was taking things out of the briefcase to get them back into their proper places in the office, I spied the knife, in the bottom of the briefcase. No big deal, until I realized how close I came to trying to get the briefcase (with the knife) through airport security. Oh my gosh! How would I have explained a 12" knife that looked like I was trying to hide it while attempting to get past security? With all the heightened security of late, can you imagine what they might have done to me? I'm guessing 30 years at hard labor in Sing Sing. With no cheesecake on the menu.

Baptism

2010-01-03T13:30:00.000-08:00

I attended the baptism of a friend yesterday, Norman Wall. Immediately after the baptism and confirmation, the bishopric member who was conducting asked, "How do you feel?" Norman thought for a moment, and then responded, "Like a huge burden has been lifted. I feel terrific."

I think that was the perfect answer, because it so defines the effect of the Atonement. Those who apply for relief, receive it from the Savior. His healing power takes away the oppressive weight of sin, of mistakes, of errors, large and small. This incredible gift is available to all, but can only be obtained through Jesus Christ. Thank you Norman for reminding us all of why we are followers of the Master.

The Slingshot

2009-12-28T05:27:00.000-08:00

Unbelievable! So there's this crazy ride, or attraction, I'm not sure what to call it, in Orlando, called The Slingshot. And it's just what it sounds like. You are the rock in the webbing of a real slingshot. Folks, this thing is huge. You wouldn't believe it if I didn't show you pictures. The two forks of the slingshot extend 300 feet into the air. Through the innovative use of a bank of springs, you are launched at a very high velocity. You land somewhere near Cape Canaveral, I think. We're still looking for Lindsay and Sarah. Yes! My two timid girls, the ones you would never think would get on something like this, begged and pleaded to get on. I have multiple shots below showing them being launched (you can see them all on Facebook). I just hope we find Sarah prior to leaving on Wednesday or she will be in big trouble at school.

Bahama Breeze and Blue Men

2009-12-26T13:24:00.000-08:00

We did a deal with Hilton: for an hour of our time, they would give us a continental breakfast and a discount on four tickets to see some men who shave their heads and paint themselves with blue paint. I've never seen men painted in blue outside of Lavell Edwards Stadium so it seemed like a good deal. The hour turned into an hour and half, and the breakfast was pretty low-budget, but it was a pretty low-key affair.

We were going to go to an outlet mall but the traffic was so bad we only advanced 1 mile in 1/2 hour, so we turned around and went to a place called Bahama Breeze. We had yummy drinks, and I ordered their special which was shrimp cooked with bacon, garlic butter, mushrooms, and hollandaise sauce, on a bed of cheesy grits. I wasn't so sure about the grits but the server assured me it was good, and it was. We were all too stuffed to eat dessert but we ordered anyway and just brought it home. I had this chocolate cake thing with a gooey chocolate center, topped with butterscotch, rasberry (which I left off), and whipped cream. I shouldn't need to eat again for several days.

All Fogged Up

2009-12-21T18:08:00.000-08:00

So I woke up at 2:30 a.m. this morning (nothing unusual for me). I've just been in a weird sleep pattern for months. I typically get up and go sit in my recliner, which seems to help with the back pain I often experience. I record certain programs to watch when I get up since there's not much on at 2:30 in the morning besides vacuum cleaner, vitamin, and cooking device commercials. Maybe I should pay a little more for some better channels.

Our shades have all been taken down from our bedroom windows due to serial failure of the roller mechanisms. We probably need to put some sheets over the windows or something till we get new window treatments. Anyways, with nothing covering the windows, I could see outside in three directions. Check that, I COULDN'T see outside in any direction. There was this incredibly dense fog! How strange for this time of the year, especially when it was below freezing, I thought to myself.

So I stumbled into the bathroom to find a water bottle, attempting to soothe my parched throat. That's when I realized this fog was so thick, it was even inside the house! Now, I don't think too clearly at 2:30 in the morning. It's just all I can do to get Judge Judy or Dragnet reruns working. But even in this stupor of thought it seemed strange to me to have fog inside the house. Did we leave a door open? Is the fog coming from outside into the house, or is it being created inside the house and fogging up the whole neighborhood? Has my new protein skimmer on the aquarium gone crazy? Is this the reason the fridge went on the blink this weekend? See what my engineer brain conjures up? Folks, I deal with this all the time. It's a real burden.

Not to worry, though, without much more delay I was able to go through just a few more scenarios in my mind before coming across the real answer: I had fallen asleep with my contacts in, and I guess with closed eyes and no blinking, they fogged up. Popped them out and I was back to sleep in about 17 milliseconds. Judge Judy and Sergeant Friday will have to wait another day.

22 Million Emails--Found!

2009-12-15T04:48:00.000-08:00

News flash! It has just been reported that the 22 million Whitehouse emails, missing since President George W. Bush left office, have been found!

"I was just cleaning", said Shelly O'bama, "and I pulled out this moldy box from under the bed, and there they were.

"I'm sure that woman must not have cleaned under the bed the whole time she lived here" said O'bama, eyes flashing. "How can people live like this?"

"It's a monumental task" to go through all these emails, according to newly established Federal Bureau of Emails (FBE) spokesperson Billy Gates, "but we're determined to read each and every one. Who knows what we'll find?" While not returning phone calls, we have inside information that several late night talk show hosts have been contacted by FBE officials to help sort through the rubble.

Many have likened this discovery to that of uncovering a lost civilization. Others say it's more like burrowing into a modern garbage dump. In either case, one thing is clear: liberals everywhere should be able to sleep better now.

Angels In The ER

2009-12-11T03:31:00.000-08:00

As I was trudging through the airport on my way to Corpus this week, this book caught my eye. I rarely buy books in the airport because they are so expensive there, but I really needed something to read and this one looked intriguing. I highly recommend it! It's easy reading, and in fact I had finished it before my 2-day trip to Texas was over. But it's filled with great stories of real-life situations in the emergency room. Nothing yucky--it's not about the injuries, it's about human drama and the human condition as seen through the eyes of a sensitive and spiritual-minded doctor. I'm not saying it's going to win a Pulitzer, but it is very thought-provoking.

The place where I bought the book had a nice offer--return the book within six months and they'll buy it back at 50 cents on the dollar. But this is one I probably won't return--I think I'll keep it in my library for you to read when you're here!

Heard in Testimony Meeting

2009-12-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Always fun to listen to children in testimony meeting. Today I heard two amusing comments: 1) "And I love daddy, because I have to"--Sierra, and 2) "I know it took millions of people to build the Nauvoo temple"--Brooke. One never stops learning in the church!

Pinus Edulis

2009-12-05T13:07:00.000-08:00

Growing up in Nuevo Mexico, one of life's simple pleasures was snacking on piñons. Piñons (pronounced pin-yawns) are a particular variety of pine nut, with a very distinctive flavor, and in my opinion, the New Mexico variety are the very best in the world.

Pine nuts are kind of like sunflower seeds in that they are very addictive. Once you start eating them it's hard to stop. But they take about 10 times longer to shell than a sunflower seed, and you have to work really hard to ensure no shell remains with the meat, so many people don't have the patience to endure a healthy piñon habit.

When I was in Utah a couple of weeks ago, I was very excited when I saw a street vendor selling baggies of pine nuts. I shelled out eight bucks for a 1/2 pound. When I got them home, I realized they weren't roasted. So I popped them in the oven for about 1/2 hour. But when I tried them, they were...well...ok, but not great. You see, they were just pine nuts, they weren't New Mexico piñons. Rats!

So you can imagine my excitement when a birthday package arrived from my sis Rebecca, containing a baggy of roasted NM piñons. Yipee! I'm snackin' out on these. They are so good!

What Color is RhinoVirus?

2009-12-02T03:47:00.000-08:00

When I went to the urgent care clinic last week, the nurse had a series of questions for me. You know, the usual embarassing stuff.
Nurse: How much do you weigh?
Answer: Sigh.
Nurse: How tall are you?
Answer: Same as when I was here last time.
Nurse: Why are you here?
Answer: Because I'm sick.
Nurse: What are your symptoms?
Answer: (cough, sneeze, hack) I have a cold.
Nurse: Is your nose running?
Answer: Uh, yeah (sniff)
Nurse: What color is it?
Answer: My nose?
Nurse: No, the stuff running out of your nose.
Answer? Can't you see it?
Nurse? No, you keep blowing it before I can get a good look.

At this point I'm wondering what school this nurse went to, if she has to ask what color my nasal discharge is. Same color as everyone else's, I suppose. I don't know! Am I supposed to look inside my used tissues?

Answer: I don't know, I'm partially color-blind.
Nurse: The doctor's going to have trouble helping you if you don't cooperate.
Answer: Tell you what, just give me a cherry-flavored placebo and I'll be on my way.
Nurse: Now we're getting somewhere. $30 co-pay, please. And just get some over-the-counter cough drops, they're actually better-tasting than anything we have around here.

In the interest of helping this nurse, who I am sure was just doing her job, I include above an actual photo of a typical rhinovirus particle. I hope it will help her diagnose others in the future.

Happiness Is...

2009-11-30T18:27:00.000-08:00

I think nothing in life has given me more insight into the nature and character of our Heavenly Father as being a father myself.

Many people have taught this in various ways over the years, but this may be the first time I have put it into my own words: my greatest happiness in life comes from seeing my family happy. It's not about my money, cars, houses, prestige, degrees, callings, honors, retirement, or even health or legacies; it's about a righteous posterity, seeing the Lord pour out blessings on them as they strive to keep the commandments. Can you see the boy-ish happiness in Chris' face in this photo as he and his beautiful bride exited the Holy Temple? You should have seen it in mine.

Don't Fly With a Cold

2009-11-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

My flight home was a most painful event. I thought I would be ok, but the moment we took off my ears started bothering me. I knew the descent would be tough. Was it ever! The last twenty minutes of the flight seemed to take hours. I was in such pain, I couldn't control the tears streaming down my face. When we landed, I couldn't hear anything in my left ear, and barely anything in my right. I was praying my eardrums wouldn't rupture (as has happened once before). I went to the urgent care clinic this morning and was diagnosed with a bilateral ear infection. I can't find the bilateral on this ear diagram, but that's where it hurts. Hurry Z-pack, kick in!

Rich was Robbed on Thanksgiving Day

2009-11-27T08:51:00.000-08:00

So I made turkey and sausage/cornbread dressing, and a cheesecake for Thanksgiving. We also had creamed corn, orange rolls, jello salad, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes and gravy, egg nog, just about everything you can imagine. UNFORTUNATELY, I have no idea how any of it tasted. I developed a raging cold and had absolutely no sense of taste. Is this what they mean when they say life isn't fair?

BYU Out-Flies the Air Force

2009-11-22T12:39:00.000-08:00

It was sweet! BYU just ran over-no, flew over-the Air Force in a game that was fun to watch if you're a BYU fan, and I know you are.

BYU took to the air both in passing and in running plays, as evidenced by this photo. Who knew BYU receivers could fly? Or that AF would be so intimidated by flying wide receivers that they would just lie down to keep from being mowed down?

I knew the game was in the bag when the AF mascot just curled up in the fetal position.

Stealthy?

2009-07-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

It's not every day that a B2 Stealth Bomber flies over your house. At least, not MY house. While waiting for the All-Star game to start, I was watching the pre-game show on TV and heard a very loud noise outside. It sounded sort of like a helicopter or low-flying plane. I went outside to check it out and saw TWO B2's circling the area, obviously just hanging out before making their fly-over appearance at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.

I hate to say this, but I think we may have wasted some money on these, because they're simply not very 'stealthy'. Oh sure, they don't show up on radars. But who needs a radar when they're this noisy? And that shape? It's cool and all, but even Sheryl Crow could pick it out in a crowd (and remember, she hangs out with communists working out of RV's). I'm telling you guys, a billion here and a billion there, it all starts to add up...

Your Best Questions, My Best Answers, #3

2009-06-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

TITHING: DID YOU SAY TEN PERCENT?

The principle of tithing, or giving a tenth of one’s income to the Church, may well have kept more people out of the kingdom than any other. So many people can decide to accept all of the teachings of God so long as it doesn't require much sacrifice on their part, but at the mere mention of tithing, they are ready to reject everything they professed to accept and believe, because parting with a substantial portion of their income is more than they have faith to bear.

There are two issue to consider here. The first is whether there is even a need to make contributions to an earthly organization. My experience is that almost every one agrees that for the Church to function, funds are required, to build buildings, pay the utilities and upkeep, etc., and so they are prepared to donate, well, something, toward the cause. I know many people object to paying for a church leader's wealthy lifestyle we sometimes see in the media (I object, too!). When it is explained that The Church of Jesus Christ has a volunteer ministry, and thus tithing is not going towards paying a local minister's salary, that seems to feel right to most investigators.

The second issue is just how much should be contributed, and this is where many seem to have difficulty. "Ten percent of one's income" is often challenged. A few important points:

• I have read that the word “tithe” comes from the Hebrew word ma'aser {mahas-ayr'} or ma'asar {mah-as-ar'}, and has as one if its definitions “tenth part”, or payment of a tenth part

• One of the precedents for paying tithing is the example set by Abraham, who according to the Bible paid tithes to the King of Salem (Melchizedek)

• Malachi asks the penetrating question, "Will a man rob God?", referring to the person who doesn't pay tithing.

Tithing can indeed seem at first to be a sacrifice for those investigating the Church. In some cases, it is extremely difficult to pay tithing, requiring great faith on the part of the saints that God will somehow provide for them if they willingly give the first ten percent of their income to the Church. Addressing this subject of religion calling upon people to sacrifice, the prophet Joseph Smith is quoted as saying:

Let us here observe, that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; for, from the first existence of man, the faith necessary unto the enjoyment of life and salvation never could be obtained without the sacrifice of all earthly things. It was through this sacrifice, and this only, that God has ordained that men should enjoy eternal life; and it is through the medium of the sacrifice of all earthly things that men do actually know that they are doing the things that are well pleasing in the sight of God. When a man has offered in sacrifice all that he has for the truth's sake, not even withholding his life, and believing before God that he has been called to make this sacrifice because he seeks to do his will, he does know, most assuredly, that God does and will accept his sacrifice and offering, and that he has not, nor will not seek his face in vain. Under these circumstances, then, he can obtain the faith necessary for him to lay hold on eternal life. (Lectures on Faith, Lecture 6, P. 58)

Paying tithing, or ten percent of one's income (or better said, what ever amount God requires at a given point in history), makes complete and total sense, but only if it is really what God requires. So for me, it comes down to not so much a question of how much one should pay, but a “first principles” type of question: Is God really asking people to pay tithing? Once one finds the answer to this question, the amount becomes immaterial. I am convinced that any person who knows God exists, knows the nature of God and man’s relationship to Him, and knows that God will only direct us for good, will be eager to know whether God has inspired a living prophet to give a tithing commandment to us.

Your Best Questions, My Best Answers, #2

2009-06-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

Why Don't You Believe the Bible?

A question I've been asked many times over the years is actually one of the first questions I had about the Church when I began investigating it. How could the LDS church claim to believe the Bible, and at the same time say that The Book of Mormon was scripture? My question was rooted in my understanding at that time of the passage in the book of The Revelation of St. John the Divine in the Bible, which reads:

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book. (Revelation 22:18, KJV)

It just seemed to me that calling The Book of Mormon “scripture” was adding to the Bible, which appeared to be expressly prohibited. I had read that passage in Revelation myself more than once, and had heard others talk about it on several occasions. It seemed rather clear.

However, there were several pieces of information I was missing, which are needed to fully understand the context of the passage in Revelation to which I was referring. Consider the following:

• The Bible wasn't written all at once, such as how one would write a novel. Rather, it was written in pieces, which pieces were assembled over the centuries and even millenia into what we now call the Bible. James E. Talmadge writes:

The word Bible, though singular in form, is the English representative of a Greek plural, Biblia, signifying literally “books”. The use of the word probably dates from the fourth century .... The word “Biblia” was thus endowed with a special meaning in the Greek, signifying the holy books as distinguishing sacred scriptures from other writings; and the term soon became current in the Latin, in which tongue it was used from the first in its special sense. Through Latin usage, perhaps during the thirteenth century, the word came to be regarded as a singular noun signifying “the book”. This departure from the plural meaning, invariably associated with the term in the Greek original, tends to obscure the facts. It may appear that the derivation of a word is of small importance; yet in this case the original form and first use of the title now current as that of the sacred volume must be of instructive interest, as throwing some light upon the compilation of the book in its present form. (James E. Talmage, Articles of Faith, Ch.13, Pg.237-8)

Each book of the Bible was produced as God inspired various writers from time to time. At different points in history, certain writings were canonized (recognized and adopted as scripture by an authoritative body) and bound together in a single volume. Even today, there is wide disagreement among religious groups as to what exactly should be included in "scripture". The Jews accept what is known to Christians as the Old Testament, but reject the New Testament in its entirety. The Catholics have a version of the Bible known as the Douay version, while much of the rest of English-speaking Christianity uses the King James version, which includes fewer books than the Douay version. Most versions of the Bible clearly reference other books of scripture which are not contained in the Bible--books which appear to be missing. So, without going through the litany of how we got to where we are today, let it suffice to say that rather than a divine manifestation wherein God himself handed the Bible in its entirety to a prophet, there has been a human-involved process through which inspired writings have become accepted and included in what is known as the Bible.

• Given the above, the next important point is that the Bible is not put together chronologically. All these books which make up the Bible were written at different times, but were not assembled in the exact order in which they were written. In fact, depending on the version of scripture to which one refers, the books might be arranged according to the importance placed on the prophet-author, or by subject matter (historical, poetical, and prophetical).

• We don't know the exact date that some of the books of the Bible were written, but we do know approximate dates for them. It is clear in most cases that one particular book was written before or after another, by virtue of reference to some historical event or to another book of the Bible.

• The Book of Revelation was written by John, one of Jesus' Twelve apostles. Rrecall that John was given the special promise that he would not taste of death until the Savior returned again to the earth. Historians generally agree that it was during the reign of a cruel Roman emperor, Domitian Ceasar, who was persecuting the Church, that John was arrested, carried to Rome, condemned to death, and plunged into boiling oil. John's life being miraculously preserved through the power of God, he was then banished to Patmos, a barren, rocky little island in the Aegean Sea. According to tradition, he lived there for eighteen months, at hard labor in the lead mines. It was while on Patmos that John received and wrote the revelation known as the book of Revelation, which of course contains the passage to which I had referred in my discussion with the missionaries.

But now, the point: John left the Isle of Patmos and returned to Ephesus, where he much later wrote what is now referred to as The Gospel According to St. John! This fact in itself is enough to show that the book of Revelation was never intended to be the last inspiration God would ever give to mankind, to be written and distributed for our enlightenment.

• Even more amazing is a second passage found in the Bible, quite similar to what is found in Revelation:

Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish [ought] from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. (Deuteronomy 4:2)

Clearly, the book of Deuteronomy, authored by Moses and found in the Old Testament, was written thousands of years before the book of Revelation. It would be totally illogical to think that everything contained in the Bible written after Deuteronomy is not authorized or inspired by God. The only explanation to all of this must be that when man is inspired to write, and adds words similar to what Moses and John have included in Deuteronomy and Revelation, that the instruction to not add anything is clearly directed at those who would have occasion to copy, print, edit, or somehow disseminate what God had intended to be written, in that particular epistle. It could not possibly mean that God had, at that point, severed all communication with mankind, and would never again reveal himself or give further inspiration to his children!

• One final point to ponder: During his earthly ministry, Jesus made this statement:

And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold; them also must I bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. (John 10:16)

Would it not seem implausible that these "other sheep" to whom Jesus refers would hear his voice, and yet not write down Jesus' teachings? And would not these writings be of great value to the world? Quite simply, this is the claim of the Book of Mormon--that the inhabitants of the western hemisphere were some of those "other sheep", that Jesus kept his promise and did speak to them also, and as they kept the sacred writings as they were commanded to do, these writings were brought forth in a miraculous way for the benefit of people around the world.

In the final analysis, there is really only one sure way to know that the Book of Mormon contains the inspired word of God; that is to know for oneself, independent of all the reasoning of learned men, apart from all the familial and cultural influences that anchor our point of reference, and beyond all possible scientific analysis that may come to bear on resolving the question; to know for oneself, by reading, pondering, and praying about the book until God reveals its origin to the sincere seeker. And one last point to ponder: I would posit that knowing that the Bible is inspired requires nothing short of the same effort.

Will a Cup of Coffee Keep Me Out of Heaven?

2009-06-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) are pretty well known for abstaining from the use of tobacco, alcohol, coffee, and tea. This practice stems from a health law commonly known today as “The Word of Wisdom”, a revelation received by the first prophet of the Church, Joseph Smith. This revelation contains both prohibitions of those substances, and encouragement to eat certain other foods, along with other health principles. It was published at a time when much less was known about the ill effects of tobacco in particular, and nutrition in general, than we know today.

Today there is little debate about the bad things tobacco does to the human body. However, people learning about the Church often find other parts of The Word of Wisdom as odd, or at least overly restrictive. Many would question whether occasional or recreational imbibing of alcohol, coffee, or tea really has any harmful effects.

While I strongly object to the use of alcohol in any amount (based in large measure upon the very destructive effects it had on my parents’ marriage), I understand the questioning one may have of any scientific basis for not partaking of these things in any amount. I guess for me, it has come down to more of a question of whether I believe the Lord has really advised us to not drink these things, for whatever reasons or purposes He may have. Like so many aspects of the gospel, one reaches a point where science and reason are insufficient to satisfy all inquiries. They have simply not advanced enough to prove all spiritual principles. That doesn’t in any way invalidate the principles, it just leaves us searching for another way to satisfy our questions, our spiritual longings to know more.

I would like to tell you a story that illustrates the point. This story is true, but names have been substituted out of respect for family members.

While serving in the capacity of a part-time missionary leader, Sister Carter caught me at church one day and mentioned that we (the part-time and full-time missionaries) should go visit Harold Brown. Harold was married to a member of the church, and had children who were members of the church, but he had never been baptized himself. He had been in poor health in the last few months, and had recently gotten out of the hospital. Sister Carter knew Harold and having recently visited him, felt that Harold might be receptive to the gospel message.

Before I could mention to the full-time missionaries that Harold would be a good person for us to call on, they had on their own already contacted him, just in the normal course of their work of calling on families of the church. While I wondered to myself if this wasn’t more than just coincidence, I encouraged them to continue visiting and to let me know if I could be of assistance. After just a few weeks of the missionaries telling me of their visits with Harold, which had seemed to be going very well, they then told me that they needed my help. They told me that Harold had just experienced a miracle in his life, and yet he had a problem with committing to live the commandments of the Word of Wisdom. They told me that he had an engineering background, and was extremely logical and calculating. Since I also had an engineering degree, the missionaries thought perhaps we could “speak the same language” and develop a rapport that could help break through the log jam they had recently encountered. We set a time for me to go with them to visit Harold.

When the appointed hour arrived, we knocked on Harold’s door, and were invited in by a gracious wife. Harold sat in an easy chair with his cane on the floor beside him. He apologized for not getting up, but he was not feeling well. We exchanged pleasantries, and I asked Harold to tell me a little about the experience (a true miracle) he had had while in the hospital.

Harold began by telling me that he has been agnostic all his life. He believed that the Church taught some fine principles, but he was never convinced that God existed. He had supported his children in things like missions and temple marriages and so on, but it was just never enough for him to be baptized, because he simply didn’t have the evidence he needed to know that the Church was true.

So, life was good for Harold and Bea Brown, but they never talked religion. He ruled his house, and made it clear that he was not to be pestered about things in which he did not believe. Then one day, Harold suffered a stroke. It left him with some impairments, including loss of memory and loss of function of some of his body. Slowly, his memory was returning, but it was far from what it had been. He was very weak, and suffered from a variety of ailments, which at one point put him back in the hospital. Harold suffered from an un-diagnosed condition which was causing him great physical pain--to the point that he began to want to die, so great was his suffering. However, death did not occur, but rather he just continued to be in pain to the point where he stayed heavily sedated constantly. Life had become miserable for Harold.

It was at this point that one of Harold’s daughters came to visit him in the hospital, and she discussed religion with him. She talked about the reality of God and His great healing power. After she left, Harold pondered what she had said. He had never prayed before, but felt there wasn’t much to lose at this point. Harold told me that he said a prayer, and asked God to show him a sign, if in fact He really existed. Harold was specific; he wanted a nurse to come in and turn off a light that was over his bed; if this happened, he would take this as a sign that God existed, and heard his prayer.

It happened. Within just a few minutes, a nurse came in and turned out Harold’s light. And then, if that weren’t enough, Harold awoke the next morning with no pain. Totally, one-hundred percent, Harold’s pain was gone. A great miracle had just occurred, and Harold knew that God had heard and answered his prayer. He was released from the hospital, not without infirmities, but without the pain that was previously causing him to wish for death. Because of this miracle, Harold was willing--even anxious--to learn about the Church and the gospel of Jesus Christ, with a perspective he had never had before.

It was just at this time that the missionaries knocked at Harold’s door, seemingly by chance, adding even more evidence to the possibility that the Lord’s hand was in what was happening to Harold.

So, as the missionaries began teaching the precepts of the gospel, what they taught sounded good, even though Harold wasn’t making any commitments. He was listening to the Book of Mormon on audiotape, and he was certainly thinking deeply about the things he was being taught. However, as the days and weeks passed, he began to question whether it was possible for the nurse to have turned out his light just by a coincidence. He wasn’t sure, but he told himself that while the probability of this being coincidence was small, it still could have just happened without intervention from God. He still had no explanation, though, for the relief from his pain.

The discussion then came to the Word of Wisdom. The missionaries taught that the Lord had commanded us to abstain from taking harmful substances into our bodies, including alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and so on. When the missionaries asked Harold if he would commit to abstaining from these harmful substances, he refused to commit himself, without really any good reason. And so, this was the point at which I had been invited to participate, with a standoff between Harold and the missionaries, neither knowing just where to go from there.

Harold and I seemed to be at ease with each other. We communicated very well, not so much because of engineering backgrounds, but frankly, I just liked him and I think he liked me. So, I bluntly asked him what the problem was. He told me that he drank coffee only once or twice a year, so giving it up was not a problem for him. In fact, it was no big deal. But no youngster or anyone else was going to tell him what he could and couldn’t do. Harold was full of pride and independence; he was his own man. It could be that he would never touch coffee again, he said, but he just hadn’t made up his mind, and certainly wasn’t going to commit to the missionaries to never drink it again.

We talked for some time about this and other subjects. There seemed to be no other obstacles or objections for Harold, other than that infrequent cup of coffee. While I made several attempts at analyzing the situation with Harold, I couldn’t relieve the requirement to commit to living this principle of the gospel. We talked about how it was God’s commandment, not man’s, and how the commitment he had to make was to God and himself, not to a missionary. We talked about how other commandments would probably be much harder for him to live than this one, and yet he was willing to commit to those. I bore my personal testimony on the subject, and made several return visits to see if Harold had a change of heart. I am sad to say that not only did Harold never change his mind, I in fact began to see a regression in his spirituality. He became rather certain that the nurse turning off his light that night in the hospital was just a coincidence, and his remission from his painful condition could, too, have just been something that happened to him as it has happened to others, without any spiritual significance.

Today, Bea goes to church by herself, while Harold sits at home in his easy chair, again suffering from his infirmities, with no faith in the salvation available to him through the grace and power of Jesus Christ. My perspective is that in this case, a cup of coffee is preventing Harold from receiving the saving ordinances of the gospel. Until he has a change of heart and accepts all the commandements in their entirety, failure to live this one "small" commandment prevents Harold from being baptized for a remission of his sins. And because "no unclean thing" can enter into the kingdom of heaven, Harold will not enjoy being with his family eternally, in the presence of the Lord. Oh, what a terrible price to pay, just to be able to drink an occasional cup of coffee.

Your Best Questions, My Best Answers

2009-06-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

For a number of years, I have had the thought that it would be very satisfying to publish a book, on the subject of the really good questions I have received about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and my answers to those questions. However, I have realized I just don't have time to do a book right now, and beyond that, it would really be more of a "booklet" than a book--and probably not much of an audience these days for booklets. But recently I had the idea that maybe I could use this blog to get started. So if you have any comments or suggestions, I would really appreciate the feedback--you can be my editors and critics! Here are some of the questions I intend to address:

Tithing? Did You Say Ten Percent of My Income?
Why Aren't Women Equal to Men?
Why Do You Worship Adam and Other Gods?
Priesthood Authority? Who Needs That?
Why Don't You Believe The Bible?
How Many Wives Do You Have?
Why Can't You Just Accept The Saving Grace of Christ?
Will a Cup of Coffee Keep Me Out of Heaven?
Why Do You Call Joseph Smith a Prophet?
Why Would a Loving God Send His Children to Hell, Forever?
Why Doesn't God Intervene and Stop All These Bad Things?

So, that's my list. And if you think I've missed a really good one, I'd like to hear that, too. I'm thinking I'll probably post 1 or 2 a week, with the first one later this weekend.

Me and Wii and Sarah Make Three

2009-06-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

So Sarah moved the "Wii" from the basement to the family room tonight. She set it up (she's a real gearhead!) and then turned it on. She got this little game going and got me to play with her. It looked really simple. All you had to do was "push a button" when the little bell of a certain color moved across the screen. She had the 'P1' controller and apparently I had 'P2'. We go through the song "Do Re Mi" and music is playing but I can't tell if I'm doing well or not. Then the song is over and the score pops up. Sarah 96, Dad 0. Zero? Huh? Ok, which button am I supposed to be pushing? I don't have a 'B' button. No, 1 and 2 buttons don't work either. What do you mean I have to hold it like a violin? On and on it went, Sarah giving me instructions that didn't work, while she continued to rack up the points. Oh, this is really fun.... So I told Sarah not to touch a button while I figured this out. When she did nothing, I was able to beat her 24 to nothing. That wasn't much fun either, so I bagged it for the night. Then she told me that I was the DARK blue bells, not the light. Since I'm partially color blind I wasn't even seeing there was both dark and light colored bells! And then she said the dark ones were all on the same line! And she wrapped up by letting me know I had the controller and the nunchuck in the wrong hands.

I would tell Sarah I am mad at her for not telling me all the rules and tricks, but she is laughing so hard she wouldn't hear me anyway. And besides, she gets this sense of humor from me.

Judge Judy She Ain't

2009-06-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

So, how do you feel about Sonia Sotomayor? I'm not at all sure myself. I know so very little about her, it's really hard to form an opinion or make a judgment as to how qualified she is or how well she would serve as a Supreme Court Justice.

But I really resent the way liberals are running this campaign (and make no mistake about it, this is very much a campaign) to influence me and more importantly those who represent me, politically. There is a magnificently orchestrated blitzkrieg of media hype being poured out and onto the American public, which to me is silly and offensive.

In addition to all the typical "news" stories ("news" is in quotes because it is really a euphemism for pre-printed, totally biased monologues written by people trained in advertising, not journalism), we are being fed a diet of praise, glory and honor for Ms. Sotomayor by people like Harry Reid. You know, the Democratic Senate Majority Leader? After singing her praises, telling us how qualified she is, Mr. Reid admits he has not read one single opinion written by Judge Sotomayor. And he doesn't intend to! How lame is that?

And then there's the really ignorant media attempt at using mass reverse psychology on us. Practically moments after the nomination is announced, news stories started popping up saying things like "maybe this isn't the person liberals want"--an overt attempt to make conservatives (like me) think "oh, if the liberals Don't want her, maybe we Do!". Come on you guys, you have to do better than that.

I'll admit I am somewhat troubled by her comment made years ago about what a "wise Latina" might do vs. a white male who hadn't had her experiences. But I'll cut her some slack on that one. Who hasn't said something they wish they could take back later? And to bring up that comment so many years after she said it leads me to think that if that's the worst thing they can come up with, she's way ahead of the rest of us.

I don't like the liberals telling us "there's no reason and no time for debate". That has just the opposite effect on me. When you tell me to stop thinking, stop debating, and just go with the flow, that's when I immediately recoil and I will challenge that much harder. If there's nothing to hide, then why the rush? Let due process happen. Judge Roberts certainly got put through the wringer (there's a term my kids probably don't even understand!) and all the other justice nominees of the last two decades endured the same. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, eh?

Here's what troubles me at the moment: 1) Contrary to the headlines, she's NOT Puerto Rican. She's American, unless the Bronx was part of Puerto Rico back in the '50's (I'm pretty sure it wasn't). 2) She has been a strong advocate for hiring Latinos. I don't like it when anyone lobbies to get preferential treatment of a race, a religion, a nationality, or a family member. I say, hire the most qualified, full stop. 3) Where are the brilliant judiciary decisions Ms. Sotomayor has handed down from the bench, that makes her such a great choice for the Supreme Court? I've read summaries of the best of the best she's done, and frankly, I'm not impressed, and you won't be either.

She is apparently very bright, if you look at her educational record. There's a lot to be said for bright, especially in this job. But I want bright coupled with morals and ethics. I want bright crowned with inspired wisdom. I want bright veiled with humility and compassion. I want bright connected to jurisprudence, not bench legislation. I want...someone more like...like...Judge Judy! (ok, maybe Judy isn't all that humble)

Relativism is Absolutely Wrong

2009-05-20T16:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a terrific article! Written by Jewish Rabbi Mark Miller, read it on line by copying and pasting this into your browser:

http://www.ldsmag.com/ideas/090520Prayer.html

Good stuff!

Oreo (the dog, not the cookie)

2009-05-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

OREO, MAY 16, 2009

Yesterday was a sad day for me. Our little Shih Tzu, Oreo, reached a point where the whole family felt inclined to have her put to sleep, as her quality of life had gone downhill so much. For all intents and purposes she was blind, and had lost most of her hearing, too. She slept almost all the time, and had lost control of her bodily functions to the point that we were finding little messes continually. She bit the Hawkes, when they tried to pick her up to get her back into the house as they were watching her one day, and I think that was probably just because they didn’t pick her up in the right way and she was reacting to a sharp pain. She was exhibiting other signs of pain, too.

So, I made an appointment at the Hawthorne Animal Clinic to have her euthanized. They were terrific in the way they handled it. I was allowed to be with Oreo to the end. They just gave her an overdose of anesthesia, and she went to sleep. It happened very rapidly, she had no pain, and felt me petting her as she went to sleep.

I thought it would be fun to celebrate her life and the joy she has brought to us these many years, so I asked the family to send me their favorite memories if they wanted to. Here are some recollections...

* One of my most favorite memories that involved Oreo was Christmas a few years back when you bought a "present" for Oreo...the "Bark Free". Dad thought he was going to beat the system with this one! When he plugged it in, a loud and high pitched sound came from the Bark Free that all of us could hear--not just the dog! Oreo went crazy and we could not stop laughing at the situation! So much for Bark Free, right?

* I remember when we first got Oreo, mom made it a point that us kids were going to be the ones in charge of training her. We pulled a mattress down to the kitchen and spent the first couple weeks sleeping in the kitchen with Oreo in an attempt to train her to be quiet at night!

* Oreo always has to do a couple of full-speed laps around the house after taking a bath.

I still can't believe that Oreo never fell out of the car while hanging out the window--she loved the wind in her hair!

* I remember once I had given Oreo a bath and used...umm...Dad's shampoo on her in an attempt to make her smell "good." Dad had come home from work and claimed that she smelled so bad and I couldn't stop laughing because it was his own shampoo I had used on her...

*One of the great memories i had with oreo was when we were first training her while we lived in orange ca. We had to take turns sleeping on the kitchen floor with oreo making sure that she didn't cry because of the dark, would go to do her "business" at the right time and at the right place and also for just companionship. I could tell that she missed leaving her family and wasn't totally ready for ours, but as she grew and matured over the years we could tell that she was one of us now.

* My favorite and most memorable recollection of Oreo is when we first got her. I remember we started in our family room, and there was a note from Santa telling us to go to another part of the house. When we got there, there was another note and something related to a dog. We had a bunch of these that led us around the house with more and more dog items. The last note told us to go back to the family room, and when we got there, the once-empty fireplace now had a cardboard box in it. And in the box was none other than the young pup Oreo! Santa was so cool, he was able to get the box there with no one noticing.
I remember how Oreo would always come into the family room to be part of the family when it was time for Family Night…

* I remember how we used to have to tackle her so she wouldn't run out the front door when we opened it…and then how scared she got when I threatened her while holding a broom…and then after that all we would have to say was, "Oreo, I'm going to go get the broom!" and she'd come running!

* I remember how she used to manage to be able to get up on the counter and eat the butter when we lived in Orange and had our kitchen table too close to the counter.

* She was so good to be in a kennel for 4 months when we moved to Bellingham.

* The funniest thing I saw Oreo do was when she'd chase a ball we threw in our long entryway in Orange, and she'd slide til she hit the door.

* But the very funniest was on that Christmas Day when dad got that thing to try and make her stop barking when the doorbell rang and it didn't work.

* I remember how she used to go crazy and run back and forth when Katie came home from school.

* She was very territorial…she used to sit on the back of the chair so she could see out the front window and she'd bark like crazy when someone went by. But when she was out on a walk she didn't bark at all. NOT very social with other dogs.

* I remember how she put Theo (a bigger dog) in his place Christmas morning at Stephanie's house.

* So fun…the hunt the kids when on to find her Christmas morning! AND Mom and Dad had been up all night with her, trying to keep her quiet, and she ended up in a hamper, in the car, in the garage!

* She loved to go for car rides and hang her head out the window.

* She hated thunderstorms!

* Oreo would always know when something was wrong. if you were crying, or hurt, she would come and snuggle up with you. That's my favorite thing.

I remember the first time we saw Oreo, when she still belonged to Spike and Kerri Nichols. She was newborn, and we picked her out of the litter as a Christmas present for the kids. No one could avoid loving such a cute little thing!

Oreo loved Christmas, because she loved “fighting” with the wrapping paper. She had fun grabbing a big piece in her mouth and shaking it fiercely, like a wild animal would shake its prey, till that paper fell into submission.

* I think the thing I always found most fun about Oreo was the little game we played, pretending to fight. It took almost nothing to trigger her into playing with me. All I had to do was come at her slowly with my outstretched hands, and she would immediately begin barking and snapping at me. My objective was to grab her and wrestle her to the ground, and her objective was to stay upright and get in a few good bites. It was a pretty fair fight up to the time where she began to lose her vision. I know that in Oreo’s mind, she always won, because she would never, ever, give up. Even if I got her down, she would bounce back up, ready for the next round.

* Oreo was always so protective of the kids and Lisa. Anytime I would wrestle with any of them, she would start barking at me to get me to stop. The kids figured this out and knew that all they had to do was scream, even if I hadn’t touched them, and Oreo would come running to the rescue.

* True to her breed, Oreo’s instinctive job in life was to announce and screen visitors. Any time there was a knock at the door or the doorbell rang, she would begin barking loudly and run to the door. It became a real chore to hold her back as the door opened—she has scared more than one person as she lunged at them! The funny thing is she was always ok with women; it was unknown men she didn’t like.

* Oreo was also very quick to protect us and her territory from other dogs—regardless of their size. More than once, I have seen her confront dogs 4 or 5 times her size if she felt they were threatening. Never once did she back down or become submissive to any other dog. Thunderstorms, however, were something that really frightened her. She would hear thunder long before we could, and would start panting and pacing the house, her heart pounding. So many nights she has awakened us, scratching at our bedroom door, during a storm. And there was no consoling her, she would scratch on every closed door in the house. Holding her didn’t help. The best we could do was put her on a bed too high to jump off of, to keep her from pacing and scratching.

* My last good memory of Oreo is one she gave us just yesterday. Lisa gave her Oreo ice cream for a snack yesterday, and this morning I gave her ham and eggs. Just before it was time to go to the vet, Lisa gave her a bone-treat. She was so full from the ham and eggs she wasn’t eating it, just carrying it around in her mouth. Lisa wanted to get a picture of her. Oreo ducked under the chair she always slept in, came out the other side and headed towards the back door. Lisa took her outside, and Oreo did something we had never observed, in all her years with us—she felt her way to a spot of clear ground, dug a hole and buried the “bone”! It was just too funny. Dogs bury bones with the idea that they will be back to get them. I like to think that Oreo was telling us that she’ll be back, she’ll see us again, someday. And she will.

Donations, Please

2009-05-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

So, I got a call today to go see the clinic. That means my lucky number came up and I was required to donate a couple of samples for drug and alcohol testing. I am required as a condition of employment to donate anytime I am called upon. No big deal, I've done it many times before, ho hum.

Only this time, I was about to go to the field, and had just suited up with my flame-retardant overalls, boots, hardhat, goggles, gloves, earplugs, earmuffs, safety glasses, badge, wallet, and a couple of booklets I would need while doing a field tour. So when I got the call to go to the clinic, it was inconvenient, but I had no choice. Resigned to just get it over with, I went right over (you have to arrive within 30 minutes of getting the call).

So I arrived and was told I was going to be their guinea pig. They had a new system and apparently I was the first one to be subjected to it. And, the nurse was apparently new. No big deal to me.

First I blew into the breathalyzer. It read +0.000, no alcohol detected. I signed a piece of paper verifying that I saw the reading on the machine, half done already. But then they gave me a cup for a, um, sample. I said I didn't think I could donate the amount they were requesting. No problem, they said, we'll just put you on "the wait list". I was told to have a chair, drink some water, and keep track of how much I drank, but to not drink more than three cups of 5 oz. each. Ok, no problemo. After 15 minutes I announced that I thought I was ready.

The nurse took me into a bathroom and showed me a toilet with a blue dye in it, and told me not to flush. She gave me the cup and told me to fill it at least half full. I was really in a hurry to get to my other appointments by this time, but was nervous about the quantity requested. I closed the door, and did my best to fill that cup halfway. I just couldn't get there, and was wondering what they would do now?

I took the sample back to the nurse waiting just outside the door. She needed to make sure I hadn't scooped any blue water out of the toilet as a substitute sample. I hadn't. She looked at the sample quantity and thought it would be ok, and split it into two smaller containers. Whew!

Now, back to the room where we started to complete the paperwork. Nurse sat at the computer and pulled my name up. It asked if she wanted to remove me from the wait list. She clicked yes. It asked if donor (that would be me) had refused to donate. She clicked no. It asked if she really wanted to remove me from the wait list. She clicked yes. It removed me from the list and went to the opening screen. She realized she had deleted me from the system--a real boo-boo.

Nurse called another nurse (I guess; he wasn't dressed like a nurse; meep; were you stereotyping there? yes, it was a he-nurse) to see if he could help recover me. He couldn't.

They called tech support for the software. After 15-20 minutes, the nurse got mad at tech support and told them they would hear about this from Corporate, and that they should know more about their own system. Then Nurse called Corporate for help. Corporate couldn't really help either. Nurse continued to fiddle with the system. Nurse took out a piece of paper with bar code labels on it to label the two samples. He got the first label on but the second label got all boogered up (that's a technical term) and couldn't be used. Corporate called back and they kind of got something working on the computer. Another set of labels were pulled out, and they got boogered up, too. A third set, and then a fourth all got applied to the little yellow samples before a bar code was finally readable by the bar code reading machine. There were so many labels they were afraid they wouldn't be able to open the bottles! So an hour and fifteen minutes later, I was released. Samples, off to some lab somewhere. What a job someone has--analyzing samples like this all day long!

The things I deal with that my ancestors never even had to think about!

These Are Real!

2009-05-10T03:24:00.000-07:00

One of the tenets of my religion is that God continues to create. We believe He has created worlds without number, and that His work is ongoing. This is a concept that is difficult--no, impossible--to fully comprehend given my limited understanding of all things astronomical. But just one look at the incredible photos beaming back to earth from the Hubble telescope gives anyone pause. One would think some of these photos were paintings rather than photographs, given the dim view of the heavens we have from our limited earth-bound perspective, they are so magnificent and interesting. I have so much to learn!

Worm Lizards

2009-05-09T05:41:00.000-07:00

So now that my son Marshall knows he is going to Brazil, I thought it might be appropriate to begin posting little tidbits I learn about the country to help him get mentally prepared for what he may encounter. Here is my first entry: Worm Lizards. I understand there have been major floods in Brazil, and worm lizards are swimming around in the flood waters as well as crawling around on land. Their bite is extremely painful. Advice: don't try to use one of these for fish bait!

Voce fala o portugues?

2009-04-26T15:15:00.000-07:00

Big news in the Bowerman family! Marshall received that long-anticipated letter, announcing that he has been called to serve as a full-time missionary in...Brazil! We're pretty excited, to say the least. We watched him open his call letter on Skype. He had a few friends plus his brother and sisters who live near him all together as he opened it. (The picture on the right is from Skype, so not great quality, but better than just listening over the phone to the event!) His mission is called the Porto Alegre North Mission. When we first heard that, we were thinking he would be close to the equator, but after doing a little research, we have learned just how big Brazil really is, and his mission is in the southern part of Brazil, where he will get some chilly weather.

We don't know that much about the culture, so we will be doing more research over the next few months (he leaves in late August) to see what we can learn about the food, the weather, the people, and the Church in that part of the world.

As you can see in the cute picture above (he came home from a school field trip one day with that around his neck), this is something Marshall has looked forward to his whole life--what a great blessing it will be for him to be able to devote two years of his life to full-time service of the Lord, finding and teaching those who are receptive to hearing about the restored Church of Jesus Christ. He will leave as a teenage boy, and return as a young man, much more mature in his knowledge of the gospel, with a love in his heart for the people he served and with a deep foundation upon which to build his life.

Zombie Boogie Juice

2009-04-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Panic City! We went to get some sauce for our spicy meatballs at our favorite little salsa shop in the whole world, located in Alton, IL, and they were out of business! Not only did we not have any meatballs for Conference weekend to share with everyone, we started thinking maybe the manufacturer had gone out of business, because we couldn't find any store anywhere carrying this brand, Ahrun's Finest Zombie Boogie Juice. It's the best! It's made with habanero peppers and pineapple. I am not a fan of habanero salsas, because they are always so nuclear-spicy hot that you can't enjoy the flavor. But the makers of this barbecue sauce figured out that a little goes a looooong way, and got it just right. Meatballs like you have never tasted. Mmmmm!

What to do, what to do? Google to the rescue, I was able to locate a vendor (The Insane Chicken--probably ate a raw habanero) and place a mail order. And of course, shipping is pretty pricey no matter who you're buying it from, so to get maximum value, I just went ahead and got my year's supply. Hmmm...I wonder what the shelf life is for barbecue sauce?

And The Winner Is...

2009-04-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hands down, Darlene's guacamole! She even brought a little dish of finely chopped Serrano chilies, just for me, to spice it up! Wow was it good. Darlene, you can't move to Las Vegas until you give me your recipe, I'm going to block the moving van if need be...

I Need Conference Food Suggestions

2009-03-30T17:24:00.000-07:00

It's General Conference time and I'm thinking about what to cook. We've had a bit of a tradition the last several conferences-our good friends the Raymonds come over to watch it with us, and in between sessions we have snack foods and yummy treats that both we and the Raymonds have prepared. It can be difficult to concentrate during the morning session thinking about what's coming, and difficult to stay awake in the afternoon session after sampling all the goodies. Thank goodness we can record the conference for replays!

Anyone have any great ideas for this weekend?

We thought of Santa Maria style tri-tip (grilled beef with garlic and pepper), homemade salsa, and grilled skewers of veggies and meats.

But then how about grilled polska kielbasa, nachos, and zombie boogie juice meatballs?

Wait, wait, don't forget Darlene's incredible guacamole, kid's favorite chili cream cheese dip with Frito's, and charro beans?

And then, there's the recently popular Super Bowl phenom, the bacon explosion!

See my dilemma?

Hillary and the Butterfly, and other Fairy Tales

2009-03-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

I heard today that Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton announced that Americans are to blame for the border violence in Mexico. I have to give her credit, she is the first person to apply logic to this situation and put it on a level we can all understand. Just one little problem, she didn't go quite far enough in her analysis to really get to the root cause. Chaos theory helps out here:

--A Mexican drug lord kills the mayor of a border town.
--A Mexican border town mayor makes a Mexican drug lord angry by saying he is going to crack down on drug traffickers
--A Mexican mayor feels compelled to do something about drug crime because his city is losing revenue from low tourism rates
--American tourists feel frightened because it's not safe to walk the streets of Mexican border towns due to the high crime rate of crazed druggies who need money to support their habits
--Mexican druggies fall into their bad habits because it is so easy to get the money they need to pay for the drugs by robbing American touristas
--Americans go to Mexico to shop and see the beautiful sights, especially things like the butterflies in the eucalyptus trees
--A Mexican butterfly flaps its wings

The Annual Ritual

2009-03-24T16:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm working on my taxes today, grumbling to myself the whole time. Preparing my taxes is an absolute ordeal. I actually took a vacation day just to devote to getting them done. And of course the real reason for grumbling is because of the outcome. Man, do I get taken to the cleaners. Between federal tax, state tax, real property tax, personal property tax, gasoline tax, and just regular old sales tax (did I leave something out?), there ain't much left at the end of the month. And then I have to listen to The Great Redistributionist telling me he wants to make things even worse.

I'm told there used to be loopholes. If that's so, I've never found one. I think all those people who got their MBA's in the 80's applied their learnings to the tax code and closed them all.

So as I was trudging my way through Turbulent Tax, the programmers offered me a glimmer of hope. I came across this screen titled "College Tuition and other Fees". The subtitle said "We'll help you get a tax break for tuition or other fees paid to a college or vocational school for yourself or your dependents. I said to myself, "hey, I'm paying for three college educations right now, I should be able to get a break here!" My heart was pounding as I fumbled with the mouse to answer the question, "Did you pay tuition or other fees in 2008? YES, I clicked confidently and boldly. My mind was racing so fast I began to see the flicker of the computer screen; my neurons were being triggered by every refresh of the 50 megahertz LCD. My palms were so sweaty the mouse slipped out of my hand like a bar of soap in a Japanese bath house (I made that part up). Then, it was as if the world just slowed down-I was in the zone, hyper-focused. Everything was in slow motion, just like in the movies. As the next screen refreshed line by line, from the bottom up, and as the Red-Green-Blue pixels were electronically excited in just the right way to form those Arabic alphabet characters, everything started to go blurry. My eyes were tearing up as I read: You Can't Claim Tuition and Other Fees. Based on what you've entered so far, you can't claim tuition and other fees because... and I couldn't even read the ending because of the flood of salty rivulets streaming down my face, dripping into the keyboard. It was all just a cruel hoax, perpetrated by those insensitive, axis-of-evil programmers.

If I weren't a Mormon I would be calling for a tea party about now. Someone please pass the hot chocolate.

I Have Connections

2009-03-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

I finally gave in to the pressure and signed up with Facebook. Wish I had done it sooner! This is a very cool tool to connect with people, especially ones you haven't seen in a while. I'm only up to 34 "friends" so far (that's one day's worth of finding and connecting) but this is going to be fun. My best find so far is a girl I was friends with in high school (just friends, I promise!), from over 35 years ago. How cool is that?

Hey Kids!

2009-03-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

You're always asking me what I want for a birthday or Christmas present. I always tell you some socks or a tie would be nice. Well, this year I will be a little more creative. I saw exactly what I want when I was in the aquarium at Xcaret last month. You can see in the picture an air power tool being used to clean the aquarium glass on the inside. How cool is that? So all it takes is the air tool, a hose, and an air compressor. The hard part will be to find a very small man who can fit inside my aquarium. I was going to say that most of the guys in the Xcaret area were pure blooded Mayans, so you might start there, but then we would have all those visa problems, so you need to stay state-side. Better start looking now.

Nice Ride

2009-03-14T05:36:00.001-07:00

I got my first ride on a Gulfstream jet this week. We had a meeting in Corpus Christi, and flew from Houston to Corpus on one of the corporate jets. Sweet!
I arrived at the corporate hangar, and was given reserved parking. I waited in a private room until time to go. The pilot came out and introduced himself, and when it was time to go, led us to the jet--no security, we just boarded and took off. This plane holds 14, and we had a pilot, co-pilot, and attendant. The food was fabulous, both going and coming. The thrust on this little plane was tremendous, a real thrill as we took off. Leather seats, tons of room, no annoying instructions on how to fasten a seat belt. I think the coolest feature though was the window shade. You push a button and a hidden window shade (built inside the double-paned window) comes down. Push it a second time and a black-out shade comes down.
One of the guys riding with us told me he really wanted to get his pilot's license, and at one point was even taking lessons. I asked him how much a plane like the one we were on would cost. He said he had looked at used Piper Cubs and they ran about $70,000. So I asked if the one we were on was maybe $2,000,000? He said he subscribed to a some flying magazines and would look it up. He got back to the me the next morning. He found an ad for a used GulfStream G450, just like the one we were on. Asking price--$39,500,000. Looks like I will have to moonlight at Mickey D's to afford one of these puppies.

2009-03-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Today the President Obama proudly reversed an executive order previously put in place by President Bush, related to stem cell research. Obama gave a speech saying such things as idealogies can't be allowed to get in the way of science (my paraphrase). What a shame.
Our nation was founded on idealogies, on convictions, on morals. If science is given free reign, with absolutely no bounds, we may just as well close all the doors to every church in the land, burn our scriptures, and thumb our noses at the prophets, because eliminating moral imperatives obviates the need for all those things.
And one more thing: those cute little "stem cells" that will be plucked out, cut up, probed, and subjected to all manner of experimentation have other names: aborted embryos, fetuses, babies in development.

Research Results From Cancun

2009-03-01T03:47:00.000-08:00

This is a photo I took of the view from our balcony at the Fiesta Americana hotel in Cancun. We just returned from a one-week research trip, focused on attempting to prove the theory that the closer one gets to the equator, the warmer the climate. In this blague, we report today the results of our groundbreaking research, which supports the theory. It was 80-85 F each day we were in Cancun and the surrounding area. We further confirm earlier research that it is painful to go from very warm temperatures to colder ones, such as one finds in St. Louis, in just a matter of hours. We may never be the same.

We (Lisa and I) decided to not over-do things on this vacation, so we only scheduled four major events. The first was totally unplanned, but lead to the next three. Event one was scheduled while we were still at the airport. We arrived without transportation to our hotel, figuring we could just find a shuttle. That didn't work out, but a nice man (one of 30 or 40) dressed in a blue shirt and khaki pants greeted us as we exited the airport. We thought he was an airport official. As it turned out, he and all those dressed like him were timeshare salesmen. The Mexican government gives them a huge space in the airport, with a long line of podiums to work from, so they look totally official. Our guy (Jose) told us he would show us how our transportation to the hotel would work, so we listened. He got us a taxi, and then told us about all the major attractions in the area. Then he started telling us about all the discounts we could get, and what to watch out for so we wouldn't get ripped off. Very helpful. Before long, he was promising us so many goodies I knew there had to be a catch--and there was. All we had to do to get the goodies was to give them 90 minutes of our time, to hear a presentation on their vacation club. No obligation! We were on vacation, had no schedules yet, and the goodies sounded good enough that we succumbed.

For our "90 minutes" (which turned out to be 1/2 day), we got: 1) a free cab ride to our hotel (value, 300 pesos, although they charged us 600, but that was ok because they gave it back); 2) a free cab ride to a wonderful resort; 3) a free buffet breakfast (I had tacos, Lisa had watermelon juice, we both nibbled on bacon, everything tasted great); 4) a free shuttle ride to a destination of our choice after the presentation (we went back to our hotel but stopped at Walmart along the way); 5) two free tickets to Xcaret, which included two-way transportation, admission, a fantastic buffet lunch (I had tacos), and a wonderful show at the end of the day; and 6) one free ticket to Chichen Itza (the second ticket cost $90) which included two-way transportation, lunch along the way, a visit to a 60-foot deep sinkhole that was filled with water where you could swim, and admission to this World Heritage Mayan site which I'm sure you know all about.

So, we thought we got an ok deal for spending time with all our new friends at the timeshare presentation. Everyone was so nice. That is, until we didn't buy a timeshare. When we said "no", we were accused of having come to the presentation with a closed mind, and everyone stopped smiling at us. Hey, is it our fault we didn't have an extra $149,000 with us?

After the adventures to Event two, Xcaret (pronounced Eece'-kah-rhet, at least by some) and Event three, Chichen Itza (sounds sort of like chicken pizza with a Spanish accent), we decided to brave the flea market (Event four). That was quite an experience. We took the city bus and told the driver where we wanted to go, Flea Market #28. He said ok, but then didn't tell us where to get off. But we overheard some fellow mid-western Americanos, so we just followed them. The market was huge, there must have been over 500 spaces selling pottery, leather goods, jewelry, all manner of souvenirs, etc. Everything is overpriced, but that's because you are expected to negotiate. Lisa doesn't like to negotiate, so she would find what she wanted and then I would be her agent. After we got our rhythm down we made a good team, as she would walk away as I negotiated, which really made the vendors nervous and they would get to their best price very quickly. Most everything can be bought for about 1/2 the asking price at the flea market. Even the restaurants would offer freebies if you acted disinterested--we got free nachos with our lunch (I had tacos).

So overall it was a great trip. I think next time Lisa will insist on a nicer hotel (ours had tile floors and hard beds), but that water color--hard to beat, no matter which hotel you stay in! When we arrived home, I had just one thing on my mind--I asked Lisa to pick up some tortillas so I could make one more batch of tacos. Viva los tacos, Viva Mexico!

Ready to Try Out?

2009-03-01T03:36:00.000-08:00

Want a shot at fame and glory? Just try this. At the top of your lungs, belt out a high note. Hold it for at least 10 seconds. Throw in the most outrageous verbrato you can. Don't worry if the pitch drifts a little, that's not important at all. If you have the first three requirements down, and can speak a little Spanish, you have an excellent chance of becoming the next Mexican Idol! I know. Every song I heard in Mexico last week (at least 10,000 of them) followed this exact same recipe.

Think in Parallel, Not Sequentially

2009-02-16T16:44:00.000-08:00

So after a few days in Houston last week, I was ready to get home to Edwardsville. I arrive at Hobby airport and see that my plane is on time. It pulls into the gate an hour before departure, so I'm thinking this is good news. We board right on schedule, everyone is seated and it's time to close the door for an on-time departure, and I'm starting to relax.
Just then, the captain takes the microphone to announce to us all that there will be a slight delay. He says something like "the system that keeps your luggage from burning up in the cargo hold isn't working". He says it will take thirty minutes for Maintenance to correct it. Sigh.
After thirty minutes, the captain comes back and tells us he's back as promised to give us an update. No, captain, you said it would be done in thirty minutes. Whatever. His update is that the noise we are hearing (lots of banging below our feet) is the luggage being removed. He says the luggage has to be removed to test the repaired system. I'm thinking to myself, why couldn't someone have started removing the luggage the moment they knew there would be a repair/test cycle? Is this their first rodeo?
Then, fifteen minutes later, the captain is back. He says the repair worked, but now they have to "do the paperwork". I get that, it's important to document repairs, but couldn't someone have been doing the paperwork as the repair and test were progressing, so that by the time the test was complete, it would just be a matter of a signature or two and we could be on our way? It took fifteen minutes to do the paperwork and get the door closed so we could push back.
It just seemed like once they knew they had a delay, all that famous Southwest on-time teamwork stopped, and everyone started thinking sequentially, one step at a time, no reason to hurry now.
But hey--they did offer us all a free bag of crackers for the hour delay. And my bags didn't burn up.

Backpacks, Waterbottles, and other Bad Things

2009-02-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

Approximately one million years ago, I was desperate to earn money so that I could serve a mission. I took a position as a guard, working at the Tennessee State Prison. It was the only job I could find. I was barely 18 years old, but the state had recently dropped the age requirement from 21 to 18, as there had been a riot at the prison, which hurt the recruiting, I guess. We got a couple of weeks of training on the duties of being a prison guard and how to shoot various types of guns, and then were taken to the prison for our first day on the job.
I will never forget what happened that first day. As we entered the prison, we were required to pass through a security station, just like all the visitors coming to see the inmates. One of my fellow guards, part of the new graduating class, was arrested. He was caught trying to smuggle in bullets he had hidden on his person.

I reflected on that incident as I passed through security last week at the St. Louis airport. I noticed a young man wearing a TSA jacket walk past security without going through the metal detector. His backpack wasn't run through the scanner.
I thought to myself, "I wonder what makes the TSA think their staff is above the law?"
As I stood there pondering that question, I saw the pilots, going through security, just like me. Now the logic gets really convoluted.
Those pilots go through security to make sure they don't have a bottle of water in their briefcases (and I guess they would also have to surrender any guns or knives or explosives), but in just a few minutes, they will literally have the lives of hundreds of passengers in their hands. Aren't we straining at a gnat?

I guess I shouldn't question the system, these things have a way of working themselves out over time. For instance, I heard just this past week that later this year, the TSA will have enough sophisticated equipment in place to be able to declare that water purchased at the airport before going through security is no more hazardous than the water purchased after going through, and will stop taking away my water bottles. Progress!

Why You Don't Understand the Theory of Relativity

2009-02-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

Einstein's theory of relativity has baffled me since I first read about it. You too? I think I know why.
Relativity has been explained in many ways and has many implications, but the thing I could never get past is that time speeds up or slows down, depending on how fast something is moving, relative to other objects and to the speed of light. Huh?
This is saying that time is a "thing", an object, something tangible, but that is not correct. Rather, time is a measurement. It is like length, or temperature, or speed, all measurements of something else. What does time measure? Existence.
Time is a measurement of the duration of existence, of being. So whether something travels fast or slow, relative to anything or nothing, its existence isn't changing. Time, the measurement of existence, may get altered, but not the existence itself.
Consider the measurement of length. How do we know how long something is? We pull out a ruler, or perhaps a tape measure. Every introductory physics class teaches how steel expands and contracts as temperature changes. So if you want to measure how wide your yard is, using a steel tape measure, you have to do it at "standard conditions" temperature. Otherwise, the tape will be shorter or longer than an agreed upon standard for length measurement, and you come up with an inaccurate measurement.
So it is with existence measurement. Einstein's theory of relativity, though perhaps difficult to apply in practical applications, is telling us not that existence changes with speed and relationships to other objects, but rather that the measurement we make of that existence can get distorted. So sorry, time travel isn't going to happen any time soon.

I Have the Solution

2009-02-13T16:59:00.000-08:00

Governments do NOT create wealth.
Governments can create conditions which allow individuals and companies to create wealth. For instance, a government can allow an oil company to buy or lease government-controlled land, and then that oil company can explore for, discover, drill for, and produce oil. That "creates" wealth, in the sense that the raw material has value, and can be sold, creating wealth for that oil company and the people who own it. The same scenario can be imagined for a gold mining company, a lumber company, or any other company that produces natural resources from the bounty of the earth. Farmers can create wealth by growing crops. The list goes on and on.
However, taking money from one individual and giving it to another does not in any sense create wealth. No, this activity is simply re-distributing it. Taking from one entity and giving it to another, no matter what the principle or formula or methodology, creates nothing.
Here's the point: Liberals in our country have the strong desire to tax the rich and give to the poor. This strategy doesn't create wealth, it just redistributes it. No wealth is created because nothing exists that didn't exist before.
Someone has the idea that by taxing the rich and redistributing it to the poor(er) folk, the country is better off. I say, no way! Not only was no wealth created in that activity, who's to say that the people who benefit from this redistribution will spend that windfall money in a way that's any better than those from whom it was taken? I would guess that in fact, they will spend it in a worse way. Who buys all the lottery tickets--rich industrialists? Nope. Who buys most of the cigarettes--the highly educated, high income earners? Nooooo. Who capitalizes companies that employ large numbers of others--the poor and uneducated? Generally not. Re-distributionism does not improve our country, it just improves the circumstances of some at the expense of others.
Not only does wealth re-distribution not on the whole make us better off, it upsets a lot of people--all those from whom money is taken. But I have the solution.
Now that liberals rule the country, they clearly outnumber the conservatives. Up till now, liberals have had a great influence in the country, but still have had to compromise, over and over with the conservatives. They never totally got their way. But now they rule. They're in charge. They control the White House, the Congress, and the Judiciary, not to mention the press. No more compromises: they make the rules, and they can enforce them. However, liberals hate to force anything on anyone; they believe in free agency and "if it feels good, do it" morality. So I say, let the government create a voluntary tax collection program. Instead of forcing everyone to contribute, let only those who want to participate in this noble endeavor volunteer their funds. Liberals can contribute to their heart's content. The government can continue to perform its excellent redistribution function, the libs will be happy, and poor will get wealthier and the conservatives and industrialists will be ecstatic.

How to Grill a Great Steak

2009-02-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

I landed on a really good method for grilling steaks last fall. It won’t be long until Spring is here and everyone will be firing up the ol’ grill, and hopefully this will just add to the anticipation. We had an unusually warm day in Edwardsville today, and so just to keep in practice I made dinner this evening. Here's how it's done.

I start with a good cut of beef. I like New York strip, Lisa tends to like sirloin, and we both love filet mignon but almost always go with the cheaper cuts. Using the right seasoning can turn a good steak into a great steak. There are any number of steak seasoning rubs on the market, but I have my own homemade mix that I like best. You can vary this to suit your own taste, but the basic ingredients are 8 parts onion powder, 4 parts garlic powder, 2 parts celery salt, and 1 part Hungarian paprika, plus salt and pepper to taste. Just mix them up and sprinkle on the steak at least 10 minutes prior to grilling.
After seasoning the meat, get the grill hot--really hot! I shoot for 500° F, and keep it at that temperature for at least 10 minutes to get the grate evenly heated. Toss the steaks on and keep the heat up for two minutes per side, then turn down the heat to about 325° F and keep an eye on things. Good steaks have enough marbelling to flavor the meat, but melting fat dripping onto the burners can cause a flame-up, so stay nearby and be ready to move the steaks to a different part of the grill at the first sign of lapping flames. Cooking at such a low temperature can take a while, so once you’re sure the risk of flame-up is past, there’s no need to stand at the grill. It is at this point I often go inside to make sure the veggies and salads and fresh-baked garlic bread are coming along so that everything is ready to serve at the same time.

If you've followed directions perfectly, you have now burned your steaks on the bottom to the consistency of Illinois coal; here are my favorite tips for removing the carbon layer (yes, you’ll be very tempted to just serve them burned-side down, but don’t do it. I have found much less humiliation by just running inside with the meat and muttering epitaphs under my breath about the man who would design a grill with such uneven temperature distribution. If you think it will help, throw in a comment about how no one should be expected to grill in the dark since you can't really see what's going on with the meat.)
Lisa likes to cut her steak into bite-sized pieces, and then, using her best sewing scissors (the ones only she is allowed to use), she cuts off the bottom of each bite. Me, I like to vigorously scrape the meat like a piece of burned toast over the trash can (a serrated knife works best), returning the intact steak to my plate, where the top side still looks simply marvelous, with those spices adding a wonderful color. Oh, and Lisa always fully dips each bite into her favorite béarnaise sauce, hiding any hint of remaining black stuff. This little trick totally masks the flavor of the meat.
Happy grilling!

Urgent: Special Ceviche Recipe Needed

2009-01-31T08:39:00.001-08:00

Quick! I need help! I woke up with a strong desire to try my hand at making some ceviche today. I told Lisa I what I was up to and she warned me that whatever I did, the "fishy smell" had to be out of the house within two days, because she has "people" coming over.
Who has a low-odor ceviche recipe out there? Is there such a thing? And BTW, just who are these people that won't let me odorize my house the way I want to? Last year the bed-making police were called on me, now it's the odor police? Ai yi yi...

News Flash: Taxes are now Voluntary!

2009-01-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

Taxes are now voluntary. It's true! Just ask Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader. Oh, you don't have Harry's phone number? Well, just click on the link below and it will take you to an interview the senator from Nevada recently gave. The Democrats are wasting no time...they promised change was coming, and boy oh boy, this is a good one! Do you think I can get a refund from Office Depot for my TurboTax software?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7mRSI8yWwg

A Conflicted Confluence

2009-01-23T16:07:00.000-08:00

True to his word, President Obama has made good on two campaign promises. Within the last 24 hours, he signed two executive orders: the first orders a cessation of torturing imprisoned terrorists (even if they are known to have information that could save American lives), and the second orders a renewal of funding international abortion clinics with American tax dollars. How is it possible that the fundamental concepts underlying these two orders can co-exist in one man's mind? The confluence of those two ideals should be like water and oil, unable to commingle for long.
On the one hand, there is the concept that torture is not acceptable under any circumstances, that two wrongs don't make a right, that human decency and dignity won't stoop to torture a fellow human being, no matter how bad his behavior has been, no matter who or how many he has hurt, no matter how heinous his crimes. On the other hand, there is the concept that there is no immorality in aborting an unborn child, no matter how innocent, no matter what potential that baby may have, no matter what reason the mother may give, no matter what alternatives to abortion may exist.
Shame on you, Senator Kerry, who was quoted as saying "Today's announcement is a very powerful signal to our neighbors around the world that the United States is once again back in the business of good public policy and and idealogy no longer blunts our ability to save lives around the globe."
Shame on you, Mr. President, and shame on our society for collectively supporting abortion. Make no mistake, we will all one day have to answer to God, not collectively, but individually, for the causes we campaign for, the choices we make, the decisions we support, and the idealogies we vote for.

2009-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

This week, US Airways Flight 1549 went down. Early information is that the plane encountered a flock of Canada Geese and the engines were damaged. The plane landed in the chilly Hudson River, and yet everyone on board survived.
The news has had nothing but praise for the pilot, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, who skillfully brought the plane down in a way that few others have ever done, keeping the fuselage intact and giving everyone time to safely exit the plane and be rescued by a ferry. I have also heard praise for the flight crew and even the plane designers, and I am sure all this is well deserved.

I also think this is just one small answer to the question so many people ask, when disaster strikes: "Why doesn't God intervene?"

We can be so quick to ask that question when the outcome of an accident, a disease, a war, is tragic. I say, let's be just as quick to exclaim, "God must have intervened!" when we see something like this.

I have to believe there were many, excruciatingly urgent--and very sincere--prayers offered, just before that jet went down. Surely, the Lord blessed many families as this event unfolded. I choose to believe that Captain Sullenberger had presence of mind to remember all his training, the calm he needed to execute his craft, the strength to lead in a moment of crisis, because the Lord Omnipotent's hand was upon him and that flight.

Think of the sorrow of so many individuals that has been avoided, the financial ruin of so many families that has been averted, the yet-to-be-born descendents that will still come to those blessed parents. I hope every person on the flight thought to end their day on bended knee, thanking God, from whom all blessings flow. Our nation should do the same.

James or Jack?

2009-01-16T03:42:00.000-08:00

So Lindsay and her mother have requested that I engage in a conversation regarding who would win in a contest between James Bond and Jack Bauer. Glad to weigh in. I say James wins, and here's my logic.

1) James is a survivor. He's been around for 40 years and has been tested by the best. Johnny-come-lately Jack is great, don't get me wrong, but he's simply not tested. 7 years vs 40 years? And don't forget, Jack spent a looooong time in a Chinese prison. He's never gotten back to full form. Let's get real here.
2) James has better toys. Jack has almost none. The better the toys, the more likely you are to win. James has "Q", the brilliant inventor, Jack has neurotic Chloe who's incredible on computers but only at doing research, not at coming up with some original ordnance (she's not much help in providing hand-to-hand combat devices).
3) James has better cars, including an invisible one. Can Jack become invisible? No way.
4) James is a much better shot. He does more with a single-shot pistol and six bullets than Jack does with ten, fully-loaded AK-47’s.
5) James is clearly better at martial arts. Jack-o always needs a gun to bail him out.

6) James is backed up by MI-6. Jack is backed up by American intelligence, which hasn't always been the best in the last few years...

There's lots more, but this little starter list should be more than enough to persuade you to keep James on the pedestal. (Linz' blog can be accessed via my list of favorite blogs on the right>>>)

The Supreme Court Sides With Rich

2009-01-15T03:44:00.001-08:00

Wow! I had no idea the Supreme Court justices were reading my blog! But here is clear evidence of such. Check out my post on "The Truth is not Admissable?" (December 19) and see if you don't agree that my persuasive commentary provided the tipping point the Court needed to get those scales of justice working again! Here's the story:

Court says evidence is valid despite police error

By MARK SHERMAN, Associated Press Writer Mark Sherman, Associated Press Writer – Wed Jan 14, 3:15 pm ET

WASHINGTON – The Supreme Court said Wednesday that evidence obtained after illegal searches or arrests based on simple police mistakes may be used to prosecute criminal defendants.

The justices split 5-4 along ideological lines to apply new limits to the court's so-called exclusionary rule, which generally requires evidence to be suppressed if it results from a violation of a suspect's Fourth Amendment right to be free from unreasonable searches or seizure.

The conservative majority acknowledged that the arrest of Bennie Dean Herring of Alabama — based on the mistaken belief that there was a warrant for his arrest — violated his constitutional rights, yet upheld his conviction on federal drug and gun charges.

Coffee County, Ala., sheriff's deputies found amphetamines in Herring's pockets and an unloaded gun in his truck when they conducted a search following his arrest. It turned out that the warrant from neighboring Dale County had been recalled five months earlier, but the county sheriff's computers had not been updated.

Chief Justice John Roberts, writing for the court, said the evidence may be used "when police mistakes are the result of negligence such as that described here, rather than systemic error or reckless disregard of constitutional requirements."

Justices Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy, Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas sided with Roberts.

In a dissent for the other four justices, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said the ruling "leaves Herring, and others like him, with no remedy for violations of their constitutional rights."

Ginsburg said accurate police record-keeping is of paramount importance, particularly with the widespread use of electronic databases. Justices Stephen Breyer, David Souter and John Paul Stevens also dissented.

Herring was arrested after a Coffee sheriff's employee asked her counterpart in Dale County whether Herring, called "no stranger to law enforcement" by Roberts, was wanted in Dale. An arrest warrant had been issued in Dale, but it had been recalled by July 2004.

The sheriff's electronic records, however, showed it was still a valid warrant.

Acting on that information, Coffee County deputies arrested and searched Herring.

The Dale employee meanwhile discovered the warrant was no longer valid and called Coffee County to say so. But it was too late for Herring.

Some courts have ruled that as a deterrent to police misconduct, the fruits of a similar search may be excluded from evidence.

But the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta said that suppressing evidence in Herring's case would be unlikely to deter sloppy record keeping.

The case is Herring v. U.S., 07-513.

2009-01-09T15:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not a very politically savvy person. I vote, but I don't follow politics, I don't follow politician's careers, and I even have trouble remembering who my senators and congressmen are sometimes. I know, I know, this will be hard to believe, but I'm not even politically correct at times.
So, it's odd for me to be posting on a topic again related to a politician. It's just that this guy Blagojevich really bugs me. His arrogance is unbelievable, the way he appointed a senator to replace Obama, despite being arrested for trying to sell the seat and despite the Democratic Senate Majority Leader stating emphatically that anyone appointed by Blago would not be seated (that turned out to be a lie, by the way--Harry is now BFF with the new appointee).
However, the Governor from Illinois was impeached today. Hurray for the folks who voted to make that happen! There's still an upcoming trial, I know. My advice to those who will have to pass judgment is...well, just look to the right at my favorite sayings. I'm sure there's some sagacity in there somewhere that will help you do your job.

The Truth is not Admissable?

2008-12-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

I don't get it. I have never gotten it.

It seems to me that the courts were established for two reasons: 1) to get to the truth of a matter, and 2) to adjudicate based on the established truth. Officers of the court, meaning the judge and attorneys representing both parties, should be aligned in the pursuit of truth. The law itself should be wrapped around this same concept, of getting to the truth and then metering out rewards and punishments based on the facts. The parties who come to court should both be looking for an outcome based on truth. Can we all agree on that?

If so, then why do we have laws regarding "inadmissable evidence"? How can the truth ever not be admissable, if one of the legal system's purposes is to establish the truth? And of course, the thing that I am pondering is Illinois Governor Rod Blogojevich's intent to fight being impeached. He was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, as evidenced by the wiretaps we all heard on national television and radio. Wasn't that your voice, sir? But his outrageous defense is that the wiretaps were not legally obtained, and therefore the evidence is not admissable. WHO CARES, MR. GOVERNOR? It's not like you didn't say what you said! We heard it!

So why would a legal system not allow the truth to be admissable? I understand the need to protect innocents, but that's not the case here. No one needed protection, the system wasn't out to get anyone and everyone, there was no witch hunt, no widespread fishnet for any little thing that might pop up. A guilty man was caught doing the very thing the wiretaps were put in place to capture.

We just want the truth to be considered by any intelligent person, jury, congressional body, or other competent jursidiction. Shame on any officer of the court who is not dedicated to the same ideal.

Mr. Governor, save yourself further embarassment and save the taxpayers some money. Give us all a Christmas present by resigning.

No, Moroni

2008-12-14T17:08:00.000-08:00

Occasionally when I read the scriptures the personality of the writer really comes through, and when that happens I feel a greater understanding of the subject being discussed. I was studying the book of Ether this past week, and in chapter 12, Moroni, the great editor of The Book of Mormon, interjects his personal fears regarding how the things he is engraving onto metal plates will be received, by a future generation. He laments "Lord, the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing.... (T)hou hast made us that we could write but little, because of the awkwardness of our hands. (W)hen we write we behold our weakness, and stumble because of the placing of our words; and I fear lest the Gentiles shall mock at our words."

Moroni, you wrote to us as if we were present, having seen our generations in vision. And now, I write back to you as if you are present. Your fears may have been realized when some few read your words and mocked them, but those who did so were uneducated, uninformed, and uninspired. As I read your writings, I find them to be incredible. The more I study them, the more impressed I am at how accurate, how consistent with other scriptures, and how inspired and inspiring they are. You helped author the book characterized by a living prophet as "the most correct of any book on earth"! In my 35 years of studying it, I have never found a single mistake--not one inconsistency, and not a single conflict with anything I know to be true. I concluded long ago that anyone who would mock your writings in The Book of Mormon would also mock the Savior himself. You did your job, and you did it with inspiration, enduring all the hardships we can now only imagine, as your people battled themselves to extinction. Mock your writings? No, Moroni, we humbly thank you, I thank you, a true prophet of God, to whom we acknowledge a great debt, you who brought so much to this latter-day generation.

Sorry to Disappoint You

2008-12-11T04:34:00.000-08:00

So I'm sure by now you all know that the Guv was caught trying to peddle his influence. I understand from this morning's news that he is choosing to not resign and is going about business as usual. In fact, it appears he might still appoint someone to the Senate. I just wanted to go on record that if he appoints me, I will reject the appointment. I know that is a HUGE disappoint to my fan(s) but hey, I'm a grandfather now and need to get that new role perfected before I take on truth, justice, and the American way (not to mention world peace and the economy).

However, I remain ever at the ready for consultation on an as-needed basis.

The Birds and The Fox

2008-12-07T13:47:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year in southern Illinois where great flocks of birds are seen migrating to warmer climates. Lisa and I saw a migrating flock last week that was between 100 and 200 birds wide, and perhaps 10 miles long! And then I was driving on Saturday, going north out of town and saw up ahead a flock of birds on the ground, covering both sides of the four-lane divided road. There were no other cars around, so I slowed to a crawl and advanced towards the birds. They seemed to be calm, and as I approached, they began to fly in a swirling pattern, allowing me to pass through, and landing again behind me. It was amazing because there were so many of them, in front of me and behind me, all in motion It was sort of like being in a whiteout snowstorm, where your visibility is limited to just a few feet. I know this sounds sappy, but for a moment I was just thrilled being there and experiencing being among so many creatures. And I have to admit, Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" ran through my mind also... . I wonder just exactly how migrations work? How do they all decide that on a given day, they will meet up somewhere and begin a journey of hundreds of miles? Who is the leader? Who decides each morning that it's time to go? At the end of each day, who decides this is where they will rest for the evening? And especially I wonder how they all know to turn at the same time? Doesn't it just seem like they would be bumping into each other all the time? And lastly, which one of those birds is responsible for performing the calculation to know that a given power or communications line can support the weight of the whole flock at the same time without breaking? I have to know!

In addition to the fascinating synchronicity of migrating birds, I witnessed another demonstration of incredible precision at the Fabulous Fox yesterday. Lisa, Sarah and I went to a Mannheim Steamroller concert. I have long loved M-S's music, and particularly their Christmas music. The thing I like the very best is the percussion, much of which is performed by Chip Davis himself on their CD's. I've just never experienced a band or even orchestra with better timing and precision than what Davis is able to accomplish with his large variety of modern and historical instruments and electrical gear. The concert was terrific, although I have to admit I was disappointed that Davis wasn't present--he's recovering from neck surgery. A brief video was shown at the start, in which he explained his absence, and I was sorry to see he has a very noticeable tremor in his left hand. I wish him well in his recovery and rehabilitation and hope he will be performing again soon. The concert definitely left us feeling more of the Christmas season spirit!

2008-11-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

I'm in heaven! No, no, no, this isn't a message from the other side, I'm speaking metaphorically. I'm just reflecting on the last couple of days with my family. On Thursday I arrived in Provo and held my granddaughter Claire for the first time. What a thrill! She is so precious and so beautiful, perfect in every way. And then Friday I was found in the temple, with Lindsay as she received the endowment. It was a time of wonderment for her and I think a great fulfilling. This is heaven on earth for me--an expanding family, and every one of my children worthy to enter the temple and partake of the great blessings which it holds.

A Terrific Read

2008-11-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

I came across a book written a couple of years ago, titled "Financial Armageddon, The Corruption of our Currency", by David Draughon. It has brought great clarity to my thinking with regard to the current financial crisis enveloping our nation. Many of the things which are influencing us are described in layman's terms, such as deficit spending, the gold standard, the Federal Reserve, fiat money, and the root cause of inflation. I highly recommend it. Here are a few quotes:

…the housing market is on the cusp of imploding. –David Draughon, 2006

[Ezra Taft Benson] said that if our nation’s current economic crisis is not resolved, our country will enter a depression that makes the one in the twenties and thirties look like prosperity.

By spending more than is in the treasury and then merely printing extra money to make up the difference…technically … is called ‘deficit spending’. Ethically, it is counterfeiting. Morally it is wrong. –Ezra Taft Benson

I am a most unhappy man. I have unwittingly ruined my country…no longer a government by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and a vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men. –President Woodrow Wilson, reminiscing about the manipulations of the Federal Reserve

The very beginning of our troubles can be traced to the day when the federal government overstepped its proper defensive function and began to manipulate the monetary system to accomplish political objectives. The creation of the Federal Reserve Board made it possible for the first time in America for men to arbitrarily change the value of our money. –Ezra Taft Benson

We are completely dependent on the commercial banks. Someone has to borrow every dollar we have in circulation, cash or credit. If the banks create ample synthetic money, we are prosperous; if not, we starve. We are absolutely without a permanent money system. When one gets a complete grasp of the picture, the tragic absurdity of our hopeless situation is almost incredible, but there it is. It is the most important subject intelligent persons can investigate and reflect upon. It is so important that our present civilization may collapse unless it becomes widely understood and the defects remedied very soon. –Robert Hemphill, Atlanta Federal Reserve Bank

The Constitution of the United States gives Congress no power to legislate in the matter of a great number of vital problems of government, such as the conduct of public utilities, of banks, of insurance, of business, of agriculture, of education, of social welfare and over a dozen other important features. Washington must never be permitted to interfere in these avenues of our affairs. –Franklin D. Roosevelt, Fireside Chat #1

A Rather Shocking Experience

2008-11-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

So, I went to the doctor on Friday to have a stress test performed. As if i didn't have enough stress in my life, now my doc wants to intentionally add some more! But since I'm only a doctor wannabe, I decided to follow his advice and have the testing done. I showed up in my sweats, ready to jump on the treadmill and get this thing over with. But when they told me I would be on the treadmill for up to 15 minutes, I knew that wasn't going to happen. I have been out of breath lately just walking up a couple of flights of stairs.

The test began, and four minutes into it, I was feeling very nauseous and light-headed. The cardiologist was looking at the electrocardiogram, and said he saw something "very abnormal" and ordered the test stopped. He also told the nurse to give me some nitroglycerin. I had never had that before but it did add a little more stress to the test when they couldn't find any. But they scrambled and found some, squirted it under my tongue, and I started to feel better.

The doctor then got me set up for an angiogram, the test where they put a catheter in you and inject dye to see what your blood flow looks like. Not too far into the test, he saw a blockage and pointed it out to me on the screen. It was as clear as could be--full volume up to a certain point, and then a small restriction, with full volume again on the other side. He said it was a 99% restriction. Looked like I got my money's worth out of that little section.

The test proceeded, and then I remember feeling like everything was just "shutting down". That's not a very good description; it was kind of like going to sleep, but I couldn't move and couldn't speak. I was becoming unconscious.

When I woke up, I had an oxygen mask on my face, and people were asking me questions. The doctor came over and told me I had given everyone quite a scare (actually he was a little more crude than that). My heart had gone into cardiac fibrillation, and they had to use the defibrillator three times before it started beating normally again. Sarah says they "paddled me".

As it turns out, the hospital where all this was happening (Anderson) is not an "intervention" facility, so the staff there isn't used to dealing with un-cooperative hearts, and everyone was pretty rattled. As they regained their composure, I was told I needed a "stent" to keep the artery open, but stent procedures weren't performed there and I needed to be transferred to another hospital. But then the doctor called a colleague and got him to come to Anderson, and in very short order the stent was installed and I was all better.

I spent the night in the ICU and was released the next morning on my own recognizance for good behavior. As a punishment, my driving privileges were revoked for three days. I'll be jeep'n again Tuesday morning.

I forgot to say, Lisa was in Utah with Claire, and I had called her to let her know the stress test revealed more testing was required. I told her I would let her know what was going on, but that I was in good hands and not to worry. But she became impatient and called the hospital, and was able to get my doctor who ratted me out. What ever happened to confidential information? Despite my protests, she was on the next plane home. While I really didn't want her to have to leave Claire and Katie, seeing her around midnight that night was a sight for sore eyes (and a few other sore parts).

So, I'm on blood thinners and cholesterol medicine until further notice. Stay tuned and if I don't K-T-B I'll find something more interesting to blog about.

All kidding aside, what a blessing it was to be in the hospital when this happened--with a cardiologist and terrific staff by my side, catheter already installed, all the right equipment and medicines there, etc. This could have had a very different outcome had I been on a plane, or in a hotel, or sleeping, or in Houston, as was the case just a few hours earlier. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father, not only for all the marvelous technology that exists today, but especially for sustaining me until I could be in the right place to benefit from it all. My concerns and prayers were answered with a very real blessing.

The Debut of Claire Elizabeth Brewer

2008-11-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

So it's official, I have been honored with perhaps my most prestigious title yet, Grandpa. Thank you, Claire! This sweet little baby took her first breath at 11:28 p.m., November 3, 2008 in Provo. She weighed in at 9 pounds even. Claire and Katie are both doing well. Joe and Lisa are tired. Lindsay and Marshall love their new little niece, and all the rest of us are just plain jealous that we're not there! So many prayers have been answered with a blessing.

I can't help but contemplate what life will hold for children being born at this time. Surely they will witness some incredible things and have so many opportunities to exercise their faith in the Lord. I cling to President Hinckley's counsel to be optimistic. And with a prophet like President Monson we can all take heart that the Church will continue to receive inspired leadership, and our children will be in good hands.

And Another Thing

2008-11-03T19:07:00.001-08:00

Do they REALLY have to be playing Christmas music already? I heard it on the radio and I heard it in WalMart tonight. We're all burned out on politics, and now we're going to crash and burn on Christmas music. I love Christmas music, but not two straight months of it. Please!

I Have a Problem With That

2008-11-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

A politician who wants to re-distribute wealth may or may not have noble purposes in mind. The stated goal is always the same: to help the poor. Even if their hearts are pure (which I doubt), I have several problems with re-distributionism.

1) The politician places himself in a position of knowing who’s rich and who’s poor, and almost always bases this on income levels. This is clearly no way to measure wealth, especially with all the convoluted tax laws in our society. Income is hidden, protected, re-categorized, and just plain un-reported. Plus, income in a given year doesn’t speak to all the other forms of wealth one may possess.
2) Even if income was fairly reported, it ignores the other side of the equation—demands an income earner may have. Just one example everyone will understand and agree with: ever heard of some good person who cares for an ailing parent? Parents are often not “dependents”, so the income earner gets no credit or discount for that parent, despite large outlays of cash to satisfy heavy demands for medical or other living expenses.
3) What makes someone able to judge what is “fair”? Is it being elected by popular vote? Hardly. My life’s experiences have taught me that only God and his inspired servants can know how to fairly judge a person’s heart. To place oneself in a position of decreeing “fairness” for a large population is quite presumptuous, even pompous.
4) The idea of charity for the poor starts with the heart, not with the pocketbook. A gift given unwillingly is not counted as righteousness. My conviction is that all gifts to those in need should be done by those who are willing to help, not by those who are forced to do so.
5) If the “rich” are going to be forced to give some of their wealth to the “poor”, where does it start and stop? If we could develop a system that re-allocates wealth, and it works perfectly, those who are rich today will be less rich tomorrow. Over time, they will fall below the established threshold the politician decided was “rich”. Then, the politician will have to establish a new threshold, and begin over-taxing a new class of “rich” people, albeit they will be less wealthy than those who were previously over-taxed. This pattern will continue until eventually, everyone is at exactly the same wealth level. What’s wrong with that? Just one thing. People figure out very quickly that there’s no need to work hard, because they will be just as wealthy as their neighbor, without regard to what is done to earn a living. People stop striving for higher levels of education—doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, business professionals all end up with the same amount of wealth as the hamburger flipper—so why bust your brain or break your back? Just sit back and let the wealth flow. But of course it doesn’t work that way. Without wealth-creating innovators, the movers and shakers of our society, industry-based nations don’t exist; natural resources aren’t turned into national wealth. Society as we know it collapses and everyone spends their day foraging for food. Just look around the globe and you’ll see plenty of examples.
6) Without individual judgments as to what “rich” means at the individual level, there are only formulas which must be applied to the masses. Formulas ignore why people are rich or poor, and they also ignore whether rich or poor people are good stewards of whatever they may have. Give two people the exact same amount of money each year, and in similar circumstances, one will squander his money on gambling, drinking, and riotous living, while the other will save, invest, and grow his money. How can any rational person think it makes sense to keep taking away money from the good steward and year after year give it to the squanderer, just to keep one from being rich and the other from being poor, and call this effort “noble”?

I could continue, but hopefully I’ve made the point. Our current tax system is terribly unfair, and there are any number of people who are working vigorously to make it even worse with new re-distribution schemes, all while doing an excellent job of brainwashing the people sucked into this unholy effort. Think you’re not being influenced by the brainwashing? Let me ask you a question. How do you feel about the children’s story of Robin Hood? Good guy? Better think again. You may be that robbing hoodlum’s next victim.

Hey, Wait a Minute!

2008-10-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

So I was coming home tonight, listening to the radio. I heard a story that said things were almost in place to lend $150 billion dollars to seven banks, as part of the overall $700 billion plan to rescue America from the financial crisis. The story went on to say that the idea was that this would give the banks enough new capital to be able to return to normal lending practices, and calm the nation's fears. WAIT A MINUTE!!! Isn't "normal lending practices" what got us into this mess? For the last several weeks, we have heard over and over that the root cause of the crisis is years of banks making sub-prime loans to people who can't afford them, who don't keep up with their payments, and eventually default on the loan. So now we're giving $150 billion to those offending banks so they can continue the practice? What am I missing?

Housekeeping Police Called on Rich

2008-10-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

St. Louis. Houston. St. Louis. India. St. Louis. Houston. St. Louis. Orlando. St. Louis. Houston. Corpus Christi. Houston. St. Louis. All in 3 weeks time. I'm exhausted! Here is a picture Sarah created at Epcot. I hope she stays in school.

So Lisa is in Provo, to be with T-Bird when little Tweetie Bird is born. I was taking Sarah to school for practice on Friday evening, and we had just pulled into the Wendy's parking lot to grab a hamburger for dinner, when the cell phone rang. Some voice on the other end said something I couldn't understand, and I asked her to repeat herself. She said the same thing again, and I still didn't catch the first part of what she said, but then I heard something about my house alarm going off. I figured out this was an alarm monitoring company (not the one we contracted with, however). I explained we had just left the house 5 minutes earlier, and I was sure it must be a false alarm. She told me she had called the police, and wanted to know if she should call them back and cancel the call. She also said the alarm was from the first floor motion detector. I replied that the dog must have set it off, if she wasn't seeing door or window alarms, and yes, to please call the police and cancel the call. She asked me for the "disarm code", which I provided. I asked if I should go meet the police at the house, and she said there was no need to do so. So, we went ahead and ordered and ate, and I dropped Sarah off at school.

Then, Lisa called me to say the alarm had gone off, and Melody was at the house with the police! Melody is the backup in case the monitoring company can't get ahold of Lisa or me. I explained what had happened, and was somewhat puzzled by the whole thing, as we were assured Oreo was too small to set off the alarm. Lisa then told me that the police said the bedroom was a mess. I knew the bedroom was not a mess when I left. Lisa went on to say the police and/or Melody had told her the bed was not made.

I am now a fugitive. I'm on the run, because I am sure there is a bed warrant out for my arrest; I never meant for this to happen, I'm just so used to leaving each morning with Lisa still in bed (even on weekends I'm alway up early) that I never have the opportunity to make the bed, and it didn't even cross my mind on Friday. And now I'm running from the law. And Melody said all the neighbors saw the police at the house. Oh, the shame of it all!

I'm Baaa-aaack

2008-10-05T07:35:00.000-07:00

Milkman's here!

Most rickshaws are now motorized, but not all

This is a typical vendor's cart

It's very common to see up to 4 people on a scooter. The driver has a helmet but usually not the passengers!

Woman carrying load on head

Ok, so I'm back from India after my less than a week jaunt. Not feeling so great today but this too, shall pass. Here are a few pix and journal entries from the trip.

My route took me from St. Louis to Newark, and then from Newark to New Delhi. On the way to Newark, I saw something I had never seen before and did not know existed: a 360° rainbow! As we were flying along, I looked out the window, and saw it against a cloud. At first I thought I was seeing things. As the clouds came and went, it became more and more clear. The colors were the same as in every other rainbow, but there was a dark area in the middle of it. As we passed by one particularly close cloud, I realized that the dark spot was the very clear shadow of the plane. It was so beautiful!

We went to a restaurant for lunch and having been told that Indians make better Chinese food than the Chinese, we had to try some--and it was actually pretty good. We ordered spring rolls, fried rice, and honey chicken. They gave us way too many spring rolls and too much fried rice--a little communication problem there. So we asked for take home boxes, which apparently was a foreign concept. They ended up giving us foil bags tied with rubber bands. We made it back to the hotel with it!

Chickpeas (garbanzo beans) and lentils seem to be everywhere, and everything is spicy, spicy, spicy. One dish I particularly like is called Chole, which is chickpeas in a spicy chili sauce. I had it for breakfast at the hotel (I stayed at the Crowne Plaza in Gurgaon), along with carrots and peas, and grean beans with onions. They had bacon and eggs, which I tried one morning, but those were very different than what you would get in America (not bad, just different).

One of the men living on “Bechtel Street” had taken some of the broken bricks lying on the side of the road (demolition in Delhi results in discarded materials being disposed not in dumpsters but in piles dumped on the road) and constructed himself a little red brick oven on the side of the road. He had some kind of sausages he was cooking on demand. I saw those same sausages sitting in an open wrapper on top of the oven at lunch time, and they appeared to still be sitting there when we left at 6 p.m. Unrefrigerated, of course, in 95-degree weather. Yikes!

When I arrived at the airport, two guards met us at the entrance to the airport itself. The one speaking with my traveling companion looked at his documents and let him right through. However the one speaking with me insisted on seeing my ticket. I explained I didn’t have a ticket, that I was booked electronically, and needed to go into the airport to get the boarding pass. He asked for my “printout”, so I dug around in my briefcase and thankfully came up with my itinerary. He then studied it and studied it. Finally the other guard started speaking to him, and there seemed to be some unresolved question. Their discussion went on for about two minutes. Finally, he closed my passport very slowly, and handed it to me very slowly, as if I was some suspicious character. The other guard seemed to be telling him it was ok, but he wasn’t buying it. As we were leaving, they told us the Continental counter wouldn’t be open for another hour, which made no sense, and turned out to be wrong, it was in fact open. As we walked up, another set of guards asked us for passports again, so we displayed them again, and got a whole host of questions, far beyond the usual “has anyone asked you to carry anything for them” type. Then we got to the counter itself, showed the passports for a third time and endured more questions. We left the counter and went to the immigration line, where we had to show them again just to get in line, and then again at the immigration counter. After getting through immigration, we had to show them again to Customs, again to Continental at the gate counter, again to Continental at the boarding gate, and one final time to Continental at the door to the plane. My poor passport is worn out!

Heading to India Again

2008-09-28T04:14:00.000-07:00

The Taj Mahal
Goats and Sheep
Camels
Oxen
Monkeys (how many can you count? And no, they're not in a cage, those bars are to keep me out, not them in!) I'm heading to India tomorrow, my second trip there. My first trip was such a learning experience. I came back feeling very humble, in that seeing the circumstances of so many people in poverty made me recognize once again what a great blessing it is to live in the United States. With all the challenges we have in our country, we would all do well to visit India and other impoverished nations before we complain. I suspect our complaints would diminish greatly. I saw people literally living in garbage heaps, openly bathing on the side of the road, begging for money everywhere, and just struggling to survive at every turn. I took many photos while there, and felt ashamed when I came home and looked at them--I didn't mean to document that great nation's misery. This first picture juxtaposes the great Taj Mahal, a truly magnificent edifice, with the living conditions of many who live next to it. I think one of the most striking cultural differences is how animals are free to roam as they please--and they please to go everywhere! Click on any picture for a larger view.

Today's Amazing Technology

2008-09-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone asks me how I can be so sure that Katie and Joe's little girl (due in late October) will be blonde haired and blue eyed. I have decided to reveal my secret.

Conspiracy Theory

2008-09-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today brought the largest single run-up in oil prices in history: over $16/barrel. And what does ConocoPhillips stock do? Drops 59 cents a share. Yeah, it's a conspiracy alright.

Samuel Prophesied of This

2008-09-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

I took this picture at Bridal Veil Falls, outside Provo, Utah. I could not help but think of the scripture I had just studied, found in The Book of Mormon, in Helaman 14:20-22. It recounts a prophecy made by a prophet known as Samuel the Lamanite. In about 6 B.C., Samuel is pleading with his people here in the western hemisphere to repent, and he prophesies of great signs which will be seen at the time when the Savior will be crucified in the eastern hemisphere (some 39 years in the future). He said:

"But behold, as I said unto you concerning another sign, a sign of his death, behold, in that day that he shall suffer death the sun shall be darkened and refuse to give his light unto you; and also the moon and the stars; and there shall be no light upon the face of this land, even from the time that he shall suffer death, for the space of thre days, to the time that he shall rise again from the dead.

"Yea, at the time that he shall yield up the ghost there shall be thunderings and lightnings for the space of many hours, and the earth shall shake and tremble; and the rocks which are upon the face of this earth, which are both above the earth and beneath, which ye know at this time are solid, or the more part of it is one solid mass, shall be broken up;

"Yea, they shall be rent in twain, and shall ever after be found in seams and in cracks, and in broken fragments upon the face of the whole earth, yea, both above the earth and beneath."

Aftermath of Ike

2008-09-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

Copy and paste this link into your browser for some incredible pictures of the aftermath of Hurricane Ike.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/09/the_short_but_eventful_life_of.html

I am so thankful that none of our family, friends, and colleagues sustained any injuries. After creating much havoc in the Gulf Coast, Ike headed on a direct path to St. Louis. We received quite a bit of rain, perhaps 5-6 inches, in a 12 hour period. Winds were strong, but didn't cause too many problems. We went to church, and the Bishop announced that he was hearing lots of folks were experiencing issues with water, so the sacrament was administered, and the meeting was ended. We knew that our good friends the Raymonds were experiencing basement flooding, so we went to their house to see how we could help. A drain in a swale had plugged, and several homes in their neighborhood were flooded. A backhoe was working to clear the drain, and the water was receding when we arrived, but not before a foot and a half of water found its way into the basement. They were only able to salvage the most valuable things, such as electronics and important personal items. The furniture was soaked.

Jon and several helpers used a sump pump to get the majority of the water out, and within about 36 hours a restoration company was there to begin the dryout and repair process. I guess what impressed me most was Jon and Darlene's attitude--they dealt with this setback in a very positive manner and rather than feel sorry for themselves, they just went to work, cleaning clothes, drying out the house, getting contractors lined up, and keeping the kids focused on what they needed to do to work through this. What I saw was the influence of the gospel; even in the face of disaster, the Spirit of God can bring peace and reassurance to help us deal with life's challenges.

Ex Nihilo

2008-09-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

Latin, of course. It means "out of nothing". A common usage is to explain how the world was created--that God somehow created the world in some sort of mystical way, from nothing. My religion teaches that the creation refers to organizing pre-existing materials into the planet we now inhabit. The Latin term for that is "creatio ex materia".

While being far from knowledgeable in the various disciplines of geoscience, I do find the doctrine of organizational creation so much more rational than placing my faith in principles that violate thermodynamics and the laws of physics as we understand them today. However...

You tell me where tomato worms come from. They just appear, every single time I grow tomatoes, in every state in which I have lived. And I have never seen them anywere except on tomato plants. I think tomato worms make the best case one could ever posit for Creatio Ex Nihilo. Don't you?

(click on the photo for a surprising view of a fight; you and i aren't the only ones who don't like tomato worms!)

Who Would Have Guessed...

2008-09-16T17:26:00.001-07:00

that the Mississippi River level rises and falls so much? This is a graph from a government website showing the predicted level rising 27 feet in one week! This is the effect of Hurricane Ike passing through the Midwest.

Rich Evacuates Houston

2008-09-13T15:03:00.001-07:00

I’ve gotten lots of questions about what impacts Hurricane Ike has had on my company, ConocoPhillips. The short answer is, I don’t know yet.

I was in Houston this week, and as it became evident that the hurricane was going to hit Houston, I decided to cut my business trip short by a day and came home Thursday evening. I knew that Ike wasn’t going to hit until late Friday/early Saturday, but with as many people as were told to evacuate (I heard over a million), I knew I should leave earlier than Friday or risk not getting out. Even on Thursday, the freeways were jam-packed and crawling Thursday morning.

We closed our offices on Thursday at noon, and although my flight wasn’t until 6 p.m., I drove to the airport hoping to catch an earlier flight. However, the wait list was already 70 names long, so I just waited for my flight. However it was delayed, and we didn’t get the wheels up until 8:30 p.m. I was exhausted but happy to be heading home. The pilot told us the weather wasn’t causing the problem; it was all the private aircraft traffic impacting the commercial flights.

We did shut down three Gulf Coast refineries—Sweeney, Alliance, and Lake Charles. Also we shut down at least one offshore platform, and I understand most oil companies shut down their facilities, too. I heard on the news today that gasoline prices spiked to well over $5/gallon in Atlanta. That’s the first time I’ve heard of a price that high in our nation. Hopefully that’s very short lived!

Besides all my friends and co-workers in Houston, I have several relatives there. My cousin Julie White Reames lives in Sugar Land, as does my Aunt Laura and her husband Dave White. Lisa’s nephew Nathan and his wife and children live on the north side of Houston also. I’m worried about them all and pray for their safety from the storm.

Trick Question: Which One is Too Expensive?

2008-09-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

Gasoline, $4.00/gallon
Lipton Iced Tea, $9.52/gallon
Ocean Spray Juice, $10.00/gallon
Gatorade, $10.17/gallon
Diet Snapple, $10.32/gallon
Evian Water, $21.19/gallon
Wite-Out, $25.42/gallon
Brake Fluid, $33.60/gallon
Scope Mouthwash, $84.48/gallon
Pepto Bismol, $123.20/gallon
Vicks Nyquil, $178.13/gallon
HP Printer Ink, $4,294.58/gallon

Corvette Day at the Plant

2008-09-02T15:32:00.001-07:00

Right to left: Orange C6, Red C4 (mine), Orange C6 Z06, White C3, Pewter C5, Red C5

All I Ever Wanted

2008-08-30T13:04:00.002-07:00

"All I ever wanted out of life was a good, home-grown tomato. Well, that, and maybe a jalapeno pepper." --Anonymous

The Summer That Was

2008-08-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

It started with graduating from high school as an Illinois scholar. Then, he finished his scout project , and passed his Board of Review, and was later awarded the rank of Eagle Scout at a Court of Honor. Next he completed the last of the requirements for his Duty to God award, which was presented to him in Sacrament Meeting on the same day as the Court of Honor. Also that same Sunday, he was sustained in wards around the stake and later that day, ordained to the office of Elder in the Melchizedek Priesthood. And just today, Marshall moved into his new home away from home, his dorm room in Heritage Halls, preparing to start his freshman year at the great Brigham Young University.

I will so miss Marshall while he is at school.. Probably more than anyone I have ever known, Marshall has long had the ability and the temperament to mentally joust with me, often besting me in our little competitions, and always competing in a spirit of good humor and camaraderie.

Good luck my son in your new adventures. Take every good thing BYU and its professors, your new bishop, and tons of new friends have to offer as you prepare to serve the Lord as an emissary of the Church, for your career, and eventually for marriage. And leave your mark, too, by being the very best you can. May Provo never be the same!

A Missionary's Prayer

2008-08-17T12:29:00.001-07:00

The end of another day,
Of knocking on doors
And even stopping people in the street, asking,
“Can we have a few minutes of your time?”

Another day of rejection,
Of quickly closed doors
And people who are too busy to talk about
The most important thing in the world.

So I sit at my little desk,
Pondering the scriptures,
And thinking about the life
Of another who also found little acceptance.

I don’t know if I can get out bed tomorrow.

Why didn’t that beautiful family
That we taught for weeks
Accept the gospel
And receive all the blessings it brings?

The pain I feel in my feet
From walking all day is nothing,
Compared to the pain
I feel in my soul.

Oh please, Heavenly Father,
Help me to be a better missionary.
Help me to better express
The testimony that burns in my heart.

I’ll work even harder.
I’ll wear out these shoes
And humble myself so that pride and
The pain of rejection don’t show.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I’ll get out of bed tomorrow—
In fact I’ll get up even earlier.
It doesn’t have to be me
Who brings that family into the church.

But please, please send them someone
Who can do what I couldn’t.
I only want for them what was also given to me:
The Spirit of God, like a fire in my heart.

My Meetings with Joseph

2008-08-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

Even today there’s a lump in my throat,
As I think on our meetings.

Oh, you won’t remember them Joseph,
Because I speak of figurative encounters.
But they are as real as anything I know.
I remember so many of them—

Two years of daily study of the Doctrine and Covenants;
Many readings of the Book of Mormon;
Pondering those old Nauvoo postcards which have no value
To anyone but me.

Singing “The Spirit of God” and feeling that burning
Within my bosom over and over again.
And “Hail to the Prophet”!
I can hardly sing it without shedding a tear.

I have a small statue of you and Hiram sitting on my desk,
A small reminder of the greatness of you both,
And just how much I am indebted to you.

"Teachings" was perhaps our closest encounter,
As I felt the power of God conveyed to me
Through your own inspired and inspiring words.

I visited your home in New York--
Such a wonderful spirit is still there.
I took that same walk you did, into the sacred grove
Where it all began.

Each meeting is a learning experience for me,
Pushing me ever closer to the Savior,
Changing me forever
In so many good ways.

I long to be with Him, and with you.
But for now I must be content--content to work
In my little field
Sowing seeds of the same fruit He first planted.

When we meet in person, you won’t know me—
At least, not my name.
But if you look into my eyes,
You will surely see how much I love you--
A true prophet of God.

First Post

2008-08-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is my first posting as I set up my website. Nothing cerebral today, just a little test message to see if I'm doing this correctly. Appreciate hearing from you if you are able to access this blog. I promise to post some interesting comments and links and photos soon!

Rich